A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together 3 months, its only a short time but i really do love himHowever in the past week or so we have had some issues when having sex! The past 4 or 5 times we have had sex he has been un able to cum just from sex its self he either has to watch porn or gives up all together and just masturbates! This is really getting to me because i feel like i could be the reason even though he just blames it on the noises the bed makes (he has very sesitive hearing and loses concentration)((the bed has began making more noise in the past few weeks)) I don't known what to do.I don't understand why this is happening and he wont talk about it! I suppose im just looking for advice because it hurts thinking that im not good enough an he needs some super hot chick in porn to get off!!
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female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (22 February 2016):
 I don't think it's you AT ALL. I don't... think it's the noises either.
I think your BF have been SO used to porn and his own tight grip that now when he has a REAL girl there with a vagina and NOT a hand to get him off he can't get off. He has in effect desensitized his penis to his hand. And the porn? Well, he knows porn + hand = orgasm - so THAT is what he does.
Does he take care of YOUR needs?
I'd probably talk to him about no porn, and no sex for 30 days. He might not agree, he might not agree. If that doesn't work... then THAT is the sex life you will have with him. So you need to decide if you REALLY are OK with that or not.
A
female
reader, NORA B  +, writes (21 February 2016):
First of all you are not the reason,but i understand why you would think like this.He is to ashamed to talk about this very sensitive issue,because it must be dreadful for him to be unable to cum with you the normal way.However this could be a medical matter and maybe you might consider suggesting to him to see his doctor.This is not going to be easy but all you can do is your best.Kind regards NORA B.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2016): He may be cheating on porn with you! I would ask about what gets him off when you were not with him. Porn desensitizes men to a natural and even quite attractive woman. The more porn they experience, the more desensitized they get, and they're onto the next better fettish. Some prefer porn to women but they like companionship. So here you have a sex deprived woman in a relationship with a porn addict. You need to see how deep his porn rabbit hole goes.
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