A
female
age
36-40,
*achel.f
writes:Hey there, just wondering if I could get some advice.. I don't quite know how to put this into words, but here goes...I've been talking to a guy online for about 3 years now, he's the sweetest, cutest guy I've ever spoken to, and recently we exchanged mobile numbers, so we chat a lot on the phone, as well as on MSN etc. He's in America, and I'm in the UK.So I really like this guy, and I'm pretty sure he likes me, and if we lived in the same country I'm sure we'd of met up by now.However... This other guy, who I used to work with (We've fooled around a bit in the past - just kissing) has recently come back into my life, and I really like him. But my head is so messed up, I dunno what to be thinking. I feel as if I'm 'betraying' the first guy by going out with the second, but then I feel as though it shouldn't matter 'cause (1st guy) is 6,000 miles away... Waaaa!Any advice is appreciated...Thank you
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2007): Hun, how can you betray a fellow, you have never met..in the real world. Let's get real here. A ongoing 3 year virtual relationships with some fellow 6,000 miles away will never, ever replace the affectionate hugs and kisses you get interacting with someone, in your hometown. Why are you feeling like you are betraying some guy who has been chatting to you from the states. If your virtual friend was deeply serious about committing and becoming an important man in your life...he would've hopped over to the UK within the first 6 months. to meet you. Did he do that? If the answer is no, then all you have is an online friend, who should never, ever expect you to remain true to him, when he can't make the trip over to see you. Tell your online guy, you are still hsi friend but you are officially dating in the real world with real guys. Three years is a long time to waste on a online relationship that is going no where. Get your life back and date this guy, where you live and don't feel any regrets. Also think about how important it is that as individuals, we recognize the far too easy convenience these virtual relationships offer. We get a false sense of security with online relationships. All of us need to understand that real life dating has a goal..we meet someone, we fall in love and we take special care to make the real relationships that we have in our daily life, are definitely more loving, fulfilling and concrete. They far outweigh the online relationship which really offers just illusion and fantasy. The real life bf's should be top priority. Find a healthy balance, between what is real and what isn't in your love life. So now...just get out and have fun with this new guy!
A
female
reader, deejuliet  +, writes (20 June 2007):
 You are not betraying a guy, by wanting to have a real flesh and blood relationship. You havent met, have no plans to meet and there is no reason you should not date someone. Have you not dated at all in the past 3 years? However you should also be very honest with him. Tell him you really like him, but that since you cant be with him you are going to date others. Hasnt he also dated women during the past 3 years? Have the 2 of you stated at any time that you are exclusively together, or together at all?
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