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I don't know which way is which anymore!

Tagged as: Dating, Pregnancy, Sex, Three is a crowd, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (15 September 2010) 8 Answers - (Newest, 17 September 2010)
A female United States age 30-35, *oveLost89 writes:

So it started about 4months ago... I was with someone and had an interest in someone else. I've been really good friends with this guy and having relationship problems and I hooked up with him. Well we were just the usually friends with benefits but things started to go differently and feelings came along. Well he ended up going to jail back I'm June, he's out now but I never see him and he only calls me every once in awhile. The thing is I'm pregnant, he knows, I'm just not sure how to do things. I'm alone and lost and so confused. I fell in love with him and he'll never know. I don't know what to do anymore. I need help. What should I do? I'm getting to the point I don't know which way is which anymore... Please anything would help.

View related questions: fell in love, friend with benefits

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A female reader, LoveLost89 United States +, writes (17 September 2010):

LoveLost89 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

He already knows that I am pregnant, he knows all of that. He just hasn't told me what he wants to do or if he wants to be a part of things. I hardly ever hear from him, but when I do he is concerned about things an makes sure everythings going well. It's just that he hasn't told me what he wants to do. Sometimes it feels like he wants to be apart of things and sometimes it doesn't. It's almost like he's avoiding the subject...

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A female reader, sarahrose20 Canada +, writes (16 September 2010):

first things first you need to tell him hes going to be a father. what are you going to tell your child when he/she groes old enough to wonder. that he doesnt know you exist? or he doesnt want to be a part of our life? or even that he passed away. not telling a parent they have a child is very hurtful annd once done can NEVER be undone. let him decide for himself. its not a matter of how much he loves you its wether or not he wants respsponsibility for his child. dont take that chance away from him. if you cant tell him in person or on the phone write a letter.

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A male reader, gigolojone Uganda +, writes (15 September 2010):

gigolojone agony auntYou will never know if he is willing to be a part of this baby thing or not unless when you let him know about it.

Find a way of letting him know that he is going to be a father and then wait for his reaction. If he really loves you,he will be more than willing to be a part of it. If you never tell him about it,there is no way you will say he never wanted to be a part of it and i guess the reason why he hasn't come to see you and doesn't call you much is because he thinks you are with someone else.

Do not stress yourself wondering if he wants to be a part of this,rather let him know and if his response is negative,then you can neatly cut him out of your life.

I know it is very hard for you right now but please be strong.

I believe in the strength of a woman.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (15 September 2010):

Honeypie agony auntMaybe you need to find a Planned Parenthood and get some help, whether you want to abort,keep or adopt the child you need to make plans and start taking care of yourself.

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A female reader, LoveLost89 United States +, writes (15 September 2010):

LoveLost89 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

The father to the baby is the guy that went to jail. I'm not sure what he wants but I try not to think about that. It just gets hard sometimes. I'm not with anyone and I choose not to. I just wish I knew if he wanted to be apart of this or not. But he only calls me once a week to every other sometimes. I want to see him but he's all the way on the other side of state from where I live so I know I won't see him anytime soon. I just hope that one day all this will figure itself out cause it hurts so bad right now. All I think about though is this baby I'm so excited but it sucks knowing the father might not be around. I don't know though... I just don't know.

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A male reader, gigolojone Uganda +, writes (15 September 2010):

gigolojone agony auntIs he responsible for the pregnancy?

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A female reader, Lilmama247 United States +, writes (15 September 2010):

I'm sorry this happened to you girl. I understand though but you now have to think about you and the baby I know you love him I understand but u have priorities there is a life inside you. A beating heart! Please take care of your self and the baby if he wants to be apart let him but if he doesn't say good riddence. But dont stress yourself or the baby out it will hurt in the long run

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A female reader, Baybee Australia +, writes (15 September 2010):

First of all I would like to know!! are you still with someone at the moment? and who the child belong too?

I maybe can give you some suggestion if you can give me more details regarding above.

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