A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi all, I am a bit confused. My long-distance guy was being distant, and sometimes I wouldn't hear from him for weeks. I took the hint that he just wasn't that interested, and even though I love him with all my heart, I distanced myself and didn't email or call as often, and didn't initiate conversations when we were online at the same time. Now he is initiating conversations with me every second day, being very affectionate, calling and emailing me more. I asked him why he is being this way, and he said "you know I love you, I have just had stuff to deal with." I don't know what to think, should I bother with him or not? Is he just playing games? Or am I being too harsh. I love him and I want him to be happy, if that means not being with me then I will respect that, I just don't know what to think.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (5 December 2011):
 when bf and i were LDR i told him, "I NEED daily contact" even if it was just a phone call at bedtime for my "tuck in call"... I wanted SOME daily contact.
he complied no matter how little he felt the need for the contact he did it for me. I would be insane if a man dropped off the face of the earth and used the "i'm busy" excuse.
A
female
reader, chickpea2011 +, writes (5 December 2011):
 Hi,
I am glad you are feeling better....
Like i said before, nobody is perfect and we all make mistakes.. Just make sure that this time he communicates with you better and don't make you wait for him to contact you...
Have a nice holidays
Best wishes/good luck
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A
female
reader, lilangel-143  +, writes (4 December 2011):
no problem, i know exacly how u feel, my bf is far away to
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your advice. I will see how things go and will give him a 2nd chance. I will just tell him honestly that he needs to communicate with me, and not just disappear for weeks. Your right it is very hard in a long distance relationship. Thankyou again for your help.
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A
female
reader, chickpea2011 +, writes (4 December 2011):
Hi,
LDR takes a lot of patience, effort, devotion, and loyalty. It's hard to be in a relationship without having physical contact in somewhat regular bases. Being in a relationship with someone means, getting to know each other, spend quality time, do things together. By doing that the love grows, you start becoming attached, and part of each other's life.
It all depends on the couple, and LDR can work. What's very important in a LDR is communication and being honest with each other. Nobody can tell you for sure what's in your boyfriend's mind, but having difficulties to have to deal with is not an excuse. Nobody is perfect, so I think he deserves a 2nd chance.
Just make sure that you both communicate better. It's hard enough that you cannot see each other. It must be difficult to love someone and not be able to see that person. So, the least he can do is to communicate with you, and don't make you wait for his calls, texts, or emails....
Good luck/nest wishes
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2011): it could be one of two ways.
he may be busy, and is hoping that youre understanding, and when you arent, he shifts his attention towards you because he dont want to loose you.
or he "likes the chase but doesnt want the kill" meaning he likes when youre initiating everything, and doesnt do it himself, unless its to get you to do it some more..
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A
female
reader, lilangel-143 +, writes (4 December 2011):
maybe he is telling the truth, if you both really love eachother, than you will work it out, it just takes time, the key thing is trust
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