A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My fiance and I are together since our late teens, and before I met him a girl he wasn't even dating gave him oral sex. She is certainly not a pretty sight and I don't mean to be bitchy. He said he never felt anything for her, he just agreed to let her because when he initially refused to let her she almost cried and asked if it was because she was so fat and ugly. I left this in the past and it never bothered me, after all, I was no angel before I met him. But, while I was on a family holiday in florida, my fiance decided to go to a club with her for her birthday! I was disgusted. We agreed we wouldn't remain friends with exes, but he says she doesn't count as an ex because they never actually dated! The thought of her anywhere near him turns my stomach. And there was a photo on facebook of her sitting on his knee. I don't know how to get past this, and I'm not willing to stay in this relationship if he wants to keep her in his life. When I told him that he told her not to contact him ever again, but I'm still so angry at him. What makes me hurt the most is that he planned it behind my back, its not like he bumped into her by chance. How do I get over this and move on?
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female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (29 September 2014):
 Well I think him running into her and going to her b-day was the perfect opportunity for you two to talk some boundaries of what is OK and what is NOT OK in your relationship.
If former sex partners are a NO-NO and you BOTH agree, then that is the "standard now.
So either SHIT (leave him) or get of the POT (stop being a Super B about this).
And PS, stop being so petty about this girl. Ugly, fat whatever. YOU BF had a TEENAGE sexual experience with her, it's a fact. MANY teenage boys aren't so picky when it comes to getting a chance to do that. It makes you sound very insecure if you can't get over a picture on FB from her B-day party. I mean was it on your BF page or her? My guess is hers, right? So you STALKED her FB to see what you can find.... Stop that.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (29 September 2014):
 You are being over dramatic. Really. Chill. He didnt plot behind your back. He is a guy, they take things as they come. Shes nit an ex, he didnt realize itd be a problem (and I honestly dont see why it is a problem). Wgen he found out it was a problem, for whatever irrational reason, he dropped her. What more do you want?
Yes, it is bitchy to call another girl names. Do you really want to be a bitchy person? No? Then respect her. Its not her fault she looks the way she does, and it takes two to tango, so dont pretend that bj in the past was all on her and you bf is some saint. Anyway, ge doesnt want her in that way now, and she probably does not want him either. So all this drama you are making only works to make you look like a bitcj... And insecure and jealous. You have a problem, then you deal with it. Dont push this on your bf.
And sorry for any typoes (on my phone).
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