A
female
age
30-35,
*oam123
writes:Hello, I really hope someone can give me some advice with my problem..here goes..!I have been with my boyfriend for about 2 and a half years and it has been a great relationship. Before we got together he had a reputation of being a flirt, even when he had a girlfriend. This made me really uncomfortable though and I felt it was disrespectful, and so he stopped. Since then, many of his friends commented on how good I am for him and how happy I make him. He also mace me very happy all the time and I felt so confident and secure with him. Two months ago he went away on a boy's weekend. No big deal at all, I was the one who persuaded him to go. The next weekend he met two models who are quite well known in Ireland, and he got his picture taken with them and put it on Facebook. Again, no big deal. Well it wasn't, until he started to make comments underneath the pictures that really upset me..I felt like he was just being disrespectful to me and was saying things he knew would upset me. I spoke to him about it - not in an angry way, just explaining that I didn't exactly feel wonderful seeing the stuff he wrote. He ignored me, and continued to put the pictures on Twitter, and to then tweet these two models. One of the models is from my home town and knows me. She has never liked me or my friends, and so I found him tweeting her to be really embarrassing for me. Anyway, it all blew over and everything was fine. Until I was using his iPhone one day and saw messages he had sent one of his friends. He was talking about how much he wanted these two models and ''they're the kind of girl I'm going to end up with'', he was also joking about how he would have to give me ''the boot''. I was devastated, it hurt me so much and I just left his house. I did not see him for about a week after, and he begged me to take him back every day. We eventually did get back together, but I feel so doubtful of our future. I had seen other messages he sent people about other girls which broke my heart and has left me feeling really crap about myself. I feel not good enough and my self esteem is just gone. I have so many questions I want answered but any time I ask him something he refuses to be drawn in, which just upsets me so much because he promised he would do anything to make this better.If anyone has any advice on what I could do I would really appreciate it so much. Thank you. x
View related questions:
facebook, flirt, get back together, self esteem Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Ciar  + ♥, writes (18 May 2012):
 This is a dumpable offense. Your boyfriend has proven himself to be shallow, boorish and disloyal. You're right to be doubtful of a future with him because he doesn't have your back.
This is not a reflection of you, but of him and the calibre of person he is. Even if his friends laughed it off, the truth is they don't admire him either. None of them would want him dating their sisters.
There is nothing left to fix and he has no answers to give you. There is no reasonable explanation for his conduct so don't waste time and energy looking for one. The sort of person who would do this cannot be reasoned with so don't bother trying to get him to understand. He just doesn't care.
Pick up the pieces, reinvent yourself and move on. A partner is supposed to enhance your life, not add undue burden to it.
A
female
reader, 1sunshine  +, writes (18 May 2012):
 You need to kick this dude to the curb! If he thinks he can do better than you? Tell his ass goodbye! You don't need someone that makes you feel sad and insecure in your relationship... You really need to stop this bad cycle of taking him back. He will think that you are okay with him doing this and he will continue to do so. Man, if my guy even thought about making me feel bad like this? He would be long gone!!! Relationships are about bringing out the best in eachother.Know you are better than what he has to offer and go out and find a REAL man that will treat you like a queen. ;) ;)
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (17 May 2012):
 Is being WITH him worth throwing your self esteem, self respect out the window for?
Seems to me that he is taking you for granted and think he can "do better" then you. Which is rather callous.
If you keep "forgiving" him disrespecting you he is going to think it is OK to do so as long as he "begs" forgiveness enough.
Honestly, he sounds so full of himself I don't really see how he has even room for you in his life.
I'd give him the boot.
...............................
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (17 May 2012):
 Let's review the "facts"....
1. You KNOW this guy tends to philandering, from his past behaviour....
2. Following his "boy's weekend" he publicized pictures and texts that made you angry and uncomfortable, and you told him so. He ignored you.
3. He continues with the on-line prattle... and you now know that he has lightly said that he needs to "give you the boot" in order to clear his schedule FOR THE KIND OF GIRL THAT HE REALLY THINKS HE WANTS!!!!!
4. You acted predictably, and walked away....
5. He enjoined you to reconsider, and you are on the fence as to whether or not you should....
My advice? Go to Number 4 (above) and repeat that as often as necessary....
...............................
|
