A
female
age
30-35,
*NJ-90
writes:Iv been with my partner for 2 months now and before we got together we spoke loads and he told me he had applied for the army. I told him I would stick by him with whatever decision he makes. He went to army training and has been there a week and I'm finding it so hard at the moment. I only get to speak to him for about 2 minutes at night before lights out at 10.30. He says he loves me already and that he wants to be apart of me and my baby's life even though he's not his dad he's classing himself already. Does this get any easier the more they are away? And do you know if he works weekends so I can talk to him more. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (18 May 2012):
 My fella is a Marine. We got married 3 years ago, he joined and I pretty much haven't seen him since. It doesn't get easier, as the years go by you adjust or it gets more difficult. Being a military wife or girlfriend is a really tough job. And unfortunately, he really can't change anything - he can only call, visit or write when he is allowed to do so, and there are no exceptions. So, do not blame him on days that you are frustrated because he hasn't contacted you in awhile...
If you move with him, you'll see him more often, but you will have no control where you go, how long you stay or his schedule. Trust me, you'll really know yourself afterwards. I suggest taking up some new hobbies and reading to fill up the time, because you will be spending a lot of time solo.
Military life is really, really tough. No question. There's some perks - the pride of serving your country, excellent benefits, etc. But, it's a very hard lifestyle. You're commendable for sticking it out! Best of luck to you and your family!
A
female
reader, zoe_y  +, writes (18 May 2012):
I would say it's holly crap. Me fiance is in the army. I've never liked the army though me dad used to be a soldier. We met when he was in his early 5th year, after six months in Afghanistan. But he promised not to sign another contract. We've been together for over 2 years. Now he's officially getting out of the army in 3 months. So the important thing is how long your fella wants to stay in contract? Speak to him to know his plan for the future, your both future together. And how you guys sort that out.And yes it's bloody hard. When me man was camping in the field for 2 weeks/3 weeks or nearly 2 months. One phone call in 2 weeks. We sent videos via email every 4/5 days when he got signal. I got frustrated, bitter as well as he did. On the other hand, i had time for myself more when he's not around. But it's bit hard for you as you have kids. Me man said there were always 1 or 2 guys had girlfriend/wife left them when they were on the field. That happens you know. So be COMPLETELY prepared for the true hardship you could go through. Think carefully before you accept him and his life better than leave him afterwards.Good luck, love!
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A
female
reader, Wisdom  +, writes (18 May 2012):
 As an army wife I can tell you now. NOPE not easy and very hard on the kids. You will need to toughen up if your going to make this work ( I dont want to be harsh) but the simple truth needs to be said and you need to hear it my sweet.
The life of an army wife and child is one full of hard times and sacrifice. Most of hte time oyu will be on your own. The army is his first lady and you his second.
However, when you are with the man that you love, YOu find a way to make it work and then when he is home those times are even more special.... I for one am a very proud army wife.
Also unlike American army we (Both Aust and UK) don't send our guys away for 18 month deployments :)
Ask you man to put you in contact with your DCO (defense community officer) they will put you in contact with other local army partners ... its much easier to do it with someone who knows what you are going through then on your own :)
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, Wisdom +, writes (18 May 2012):
As an army wife I can tell you now. NOPE not easy and very hard on the kids. You will need to toughen up if your going to make this work ( I dont want to be harsh) but the simple truth needs to be said and you need to hear it my sweet.
The life of an army wife and child is one full of hard times and sacrifice. Most of hte time oyu will be on your own. The army is his first lady and you his second.
However, when you are with the man that you love, YOu find a way to make it work and then when he is home those times are even more special.... I for one am a very proud army wife.
Also unlike American army we (Both Aust and UK) don't send our guys away for 18 month deployments :)
Ask you man to put you in contact with your DCO (defense community officer) they will put you in contact with other local army partners ... its much easier to do it with someone who knows what you are going through then on your own :)
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (17 May 2012):
 Basic is hard on the recruit and hard on their family and partners.
They do NOT get much time off to call/write, but I would suggest you write him (snail mail AKA real letters) to cheer him up, while he is gone. Depending on how his group does and behave, can depend on how often he gets to talk to you. If 1 recruit mucks up, it can mean NO phone privileges for anyone. And so forth. Also he might choose to call his family from time to time.
At Basic recruits "might" get an hour in the evening for personal time, that doesn't mean however, that he gets to make calls. That hour is meant for the recruit to do laundry, shower, cleaning lockers/barracks. Which might be why he wasn't about to talk for more then 2 minutes.
He will be gone for 10 weeks if he doesn't get hurt or recycled.
After that depending on his MOS (area that he chose or got selected to work in) he can be going at AIT for 6-52 week - yes from 6 weeks to a year.
After that, if he passes he will be station either in the States or overseas.
I'm afraid you will have to stick to letters for the next 9 weeks and if you are lucky a phone call here and there.
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