A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i am very social have a bunch of friends but when theres a girl i like there are few that understand my humor. most girls when im trying to flirt with them they think im being an asshole. every once in awhile ill find a girl whos cute and doesnt think im an asshole but thats every once in a while. i want to be able to change my approach and my attempts arent working.how can i affectively get girls i wanna date to think im mature and not an asshole.
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female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (17 May 2012):
 You can't really "fake" being mature. At least not for long.
Maybe you can try and tone down the jokes til you know them better. I have to say I don't mind bawdy humor, but if it came from someone I barely know I would find it tacky and less funny. I think a lot of women think like that.
Women like a funny guy, but if he overdo it and acts more like an ass or a clown, it can come of as a guy trying too hard or having absolutely no filter, no manners or tact.
Why not just try and talk to a girl without having to make it into a big joke?
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2012): At your age it's probably better to be thought an asshole than mature. Girls say they want a mature guy to justify wanting an older guy. Its not the maturity they want.
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A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (17 May 2012):
 Try being cocky n funny at the same time. Neg women dont put them.down. i e give them a remark that isnt too rude or too nice and most importantly dont compliment. Tease them effectively with ur humor. Be a slight jerk but.not total a hole women dont mind a lil jerk but ur across a boundary. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, xgod +, writes (17 May 2012):
 Maturity involves thought and tact. By listening calmly and attentively to the girl you are interested in, meeting her eyes, and being sincere, you will acquire her attention. Joking and being crude or stupid or silly only works on a few women. Most prefer a man who is stable and sincere.
Keep your humor in check, think about what you are saying and consider that she may easily be offended by some topics that you casually assume are okay to joke about. By making well-planned moves and decisions, showing confidence without being so morbid as to scare her, but still not being a moron, you may better prove to her that she can trust you.
Usually, the littlest things can turn a woman's head and make her reconsider you. Instead of constantly being your "here's another joke I find funny" type of guy, try just keeping that in check and listening to her preferred topic. Join in or ask her to elaborate. Your interest in what she has to say shows intellect and makes a connection.
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