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I didn't like the message my b/f received on his phone

Tagged as: Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 November 2011) 9 Answers - (Newest, 23 November 2011)
A female United Kingdom age 51-59, anonymous writes:

I have been dating my boyfriend for 9 months now and things are getting serious. He has asked me to move in with him at Christmas and we see each other every day. Everything is great but the problem is he works nights, he is a taxi driver, and in the past he has given his mobile phone number out to customers. Today I noticed that he got a text message at about 5pm that said "I'm about x". He said it was from a customer who will want picking up later but the text bothered me because surely if it was someone needing a taxi service the text would say the time and place! My boyfriend thinks I'm being silly letting this text bother me but his explanation seems vague to me. Should I be concerned????

View related questions: christmas, his ex, text

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (23 November 2011):

So_Very_Confused agony auntClassic lies by a man who is cheating... emotionally or physically... that's my take on it.

My ex husband was given free reign to do as he pleased AS LONG AS HE WAS HONEST.. he still told me incredible lies so he could meet up with other women....

IF it doesn't FEEL right to you, and you have no history to cause you to be irrational about it, then it's probably not kosher...

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2011):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

He has built up a list of regular customers over a period of time and this is not the issue it is more the context of the message that is bothering me. As Ciar suggests it sounds like it would mean "I am here" but when he received it he didn't rush off anywhere in fact we were together for a further 5 hours before he went to work. I guess I will have to talk to him about it again but I am suspicious and jealous by nature and if it is all innocent I worry that I will push him away with my insecurity.

Thanks everybody for your responses.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (23 November 2011):

CindyCares agony aunt That sounds strange to me. So far I must have called literally thousands of cabs ( 3 or 4 a day when I lived in Manhattan ) and nobody ever gave me his personal mobile number . If he works for a company , he's not allowed to do that . If he is an independent with his own car and medallion ( license ) it still does not sound very professional,they have business numbers to manage their clientele.

It could be I guess that if you live in a small place with just one or two official drivers , he's tryng to make himself more accessible to his clients, and make them regulars But still, when you book a cab by text ( I do it often ) you only send a specific address and time.

" I'm about " sounds like a personal message, not a professional one.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2011):

So he received a cryptic message from someone telling him they are about...with a kiss? That doesnt sound like a customer needing a taxi. Why should he care if she is `about`? Thats not asking for a taxi ride. It sounds more like someone letting him know she is going to be around some place. Some place that he obviously knows because she didnt have to state her location. And he is being vague about the message and telling you that you are being silly about it? Thats a classic response when caught out.

If he is out all night then you cant really know what he is getting up to. I would keep an eye on him for a while and put off moving in with him until you are absolutely sure you can trust him.

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A female reader, Ciar Canada + , writes (23 November 2011):

Ciar agony auntRealist, the 'about' means 'nearby'. It's like saying 'I'm here'.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2011):

It sounds very suspicious to me. Unless you book the taxi through the office (correct me if i`m wrong) the driver has no legal insurance for his passenger,which is why most wont stop if you wave them down.

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A male reader, The Realist Canada +, writes (23 November 2011):

The Realist agony auntI don't understand what you mean by "I'm about x". Maybe someone can clear that up for me.

As for him giving out his number like that it comes down to if you are going to be with him you have to trust him. I see why he does it. He has regulars that probably tip well and treat him nicely. It's the same concept as going back to the same hair stylest that you like. If I got to know someone who was a cab driver I would always want to make sure they get the fare. I don't know how well the cabs are when you are there but where I am from there is no chance I would be able to request a specific cab because the people who answer the phone barely give you a chance to talk so I would have to be in direct contact with the person.

Ask him why he does this and let him explain it. In the end though it is most likely a business connection and nothing more.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2011):

Oh oh! *raises hand*

In my experience, of using cabs, especially in wintery Canadian weather. A cab driver that can build a contact base of reliable, use cab services often, people to build a network as he has a greater change of making money. he just would need a half hour notice to get about.

So that could be the first motivator. Second could be that he does like an attractive female to taxi around. Good chat, good company seems tame. doesn't infer hes' cheating.

But...

If your gut is saying otherwise, trust the gut.

Tell him how you feel. And stave off the moving in then. Trust is paramount to a relationship as is communication.

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A female reader, fi_the_tree United Kingdom +, writes (22 November 2011):

fi_the_tree agony auntI don't understand why he's giving his mobile number out to customers. Surely if they want a taxi then they'll just ring the taxi company right??? If the customer wants your bf to pick them up in future, surely he should be giving his cab number, so they can request him when they phone the taxi company.

I would be suspicious of this...

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