A
female
age
36-40,
*aura.c.m
writes:hi i'm laura and i'm in an interracial relationship with my Fiancée for 7 years he still find me sexy but i can't be bother to have sex with him much now , at first we used too be at it like sex craved teenagers the slightest touch would turn me on but i'm scared he will leave me for someone else who would fullfill his needs i stop giving him head bout 5 years ago and i have had sex only 2 times in the last month ,, do u think he's getting it from somewhere else Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2010): Q is right in the long run, if you don't have sex with him you will loose him.
Why do you want a boyfriend that you don't want to have sex with?
A
female
reader, laura.c.m +, writes (12 May 2010):
laura.c.m is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhow can i get help to sovle this problem? i'm willing to try and do anything to keep my boyfriend
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A
female
reader, BettyBoup +, writes (12 May 2010):
 Do you want to find him sexy again? Do you want to fulfill his needs and have a healthy sex life? Do you think it is just for him that you've lost your desire or in sex in general?
If he has a healthy appetite for sex, you can't really expect him to stay in a sexless relationship for many years and remain faithful. Unless he has the patience of a saint and loves you more than he loves himself(which isnt really healthy), being with someone he loves and wants intimacy with, who does not return his desire will bring him much pain and torture. He will either eventually leave, find someone else who will fulfill his sexual side. How can you expect him surpress his desires and live with feelings of worthlessness and rejection by staying with you if you do not love him in a physical way?
If you want this to work, you need to work on your sex life before it's too late. If you simply cannot find him desirable it would be kinder for you to let him go and find someone who will.
I am with someone who often cannot be bothered to make love to me and I can tell you now that nothing has broken my heart more than being constantly rejected by someone I love so much. And I do love him but I can tell you now, I know I cannot live with sex twice a month for the rest of my life. I'm still holding out for things to get better. But if they don't I know I will have to leave to save my heart, self esteem and sexuality.
If you cannot be bothered to make love to your partner, there is something seriously wrong there. You must find out what it is to save your relationssip.
Good luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2010): My ex couldnt be bothered to have sex with me anymore so i did the decent thing and ended it with him and i am now with a guy who loves to have sex as much as i do and we respect each other
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (11 May 2010):
 I would call this a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you don't give him any, he will find some. I was under the idea that you were giving him a lot of what he wanted back when you were like two sex-craved teenagers... et cetera.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (11 May 2010):
 Man cannot live by bread alone.
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (11 May 2010):
 Yep... he'll either cheat or he'll dump you. If you can't be bothered to make him happy, what reason dose he have to stay or respect the agreement to be faithfull.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (11 May 2010):
If you can't be bothered and you keep turning away, realistically there will come a time when he will either cheat or leave. You need to address the problems in your relationship. There must be a reason that you feel this way.
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A
male
reader, serenity80 +, writes (11 May 2010):
If you no longer want to have sex with him - that is the problem. Not that he may cheat on you.
The fact you can't be physical with him indicates, on some level, that you do not want to be with him. When women are attracted and emotionally stimulated by a man whom they love, they naturally want to have sex with them.
Why do you not want to have sex with him anymore? It sounds like this is what you should be asking and attempting to solve, rather than just waiting until he leaves you, which of course he'll most likely end up doing as long as your relationship has this problem.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2010): Whatever you do don't marry this guy until you can be bothered as you put it. What's changed in your relationship? People don't go off sex unless there is something behind it.
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