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I caught my boyfriend cheating on me by the fake profile that I created. Where do I go from here?

Tagged as: Cheating, Online dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 February 2011) 10 Answers - (Newest, 3 March 2011)
A female United States age 22-25, anonymous writes:

I have recently found out that my boyfriend has been cheating on me having cyber sex on skype with random girls on the internet. I did this by creating a fake facebook and pretending to be another girl. I know that this is wrong, but I was already positive he was cheating on me, I just needed solid proof so that I wouldn't second guess myself.

The problem is that I don't know where to go from here. I know that I do not want to be with him, but I haven't broken up with him yet. I just haven't answered his phone calls or texts since I found out. How do I go about this? Do I give him a reason? Do I tell him that I made a fake facebook? Do I just never talk to him? I'm afraid to start the conversation because he always has a way to manipulate me into either feeling terrible about myself or getting back with him.

I really just dont want to talk to him again, but part of me wants to tell him that I know that he was cheating on me. I want to be the mature one, I don't want to make him feel bad or anything like that. I just want to say "I can't trust you anymore and I think it's best we go our separate ways." but is it even worth it? Or should I just leave him wondering as it is and wait for him to get the point by never responding to him? What is the right thing to do?

View related questions: facebook, text, the internet

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2011):

I would set up a time to meet the ass hole under your Facebook name. Once you get there give him the old "gotcha"

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A female reader, angelDlite United Kingdom +, writes (21 February 2011):

angelDlite agony aunthi

well done for finding out the truth. it is maybe a bit futile to tell him what you have done, like you say we will TRY to manipulate his way back in but this time he really has no chance does he? its tempting to leave him dangling, not knowing what he has done wrong but it would also be tempting for me to let him know that i know! i hate cheaters so i would have little game with him first, where i mention things that he and your character have talked about, that there would be no way the 'real you' could've known about.

this jerk needs to be taught a lesson, maybe this could be enough to prevent him (or at least give serious thought) to not doing this again to his next unsuspecting girlfriend. whatever you decide to do, do it in your own time, not because he is getting inpatient at now hearing from you. let him sweat for a bit while you decide

xx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2011):

I would email him that you are ending it and why in the briefest of terms. Then move on. He is not worth more than that.

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A female reader, FluffyPie United States +, writes (21 February 2011):

FluffyPie agony auntWell, since you're playing this game, do it until the end, date him in person under this fake user. He'll sh*t bricks when he sees you, when he sees who's behind that user. This way he won't have anything to say in order to defend himself and manipulate you.

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A female reader, Party rings United Kingdom +, writes (21 February 2011):

You need to tell him that you know about.Its up to you wheithr you give him another chance or boot him out your door.Remember he could always do it again.Do u trust him enough to stay with him.

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A female reader, Anonymous 123 Italy + , writes (21 February 2011):

Anonymous 123 agony auntYou're right...its not worth talking to such a pathetic creep. I can imagine why you dont even want to go down that road and have that meaningless conversation. But you will have to give him a reason otherwise he would keep dancing on your nerves, and each time you see his number flashing on your cell, it would irritate you even more.

Just tell him that you have reasons to not trust him anymore and you dont want to be with him. Let him just deal with it himself after that...thats his headache. Just completely cut off all contacts with him.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2011):

How about breaking up by writing him an e-mail and then immediately block him from all your contacts so he has no chance to say anything back and manipulate you.

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A female reader, No watered down advice here! United States +, writes (21 February 2011):

No watered down advice here! agony auntWell if you tell him and he makes you feel terrible this time, can you blame him? It’s not hard for you to get his attention, since it’s you who’s pretending to be another girl, after-all he likes you! So, why wouldn’t he like “Her”? She is you! Think about it! He fell for you all over again, you said all the things he like to hear, your responses was that of what he would receive from his girlfriend, so all I’m saying is this thing you started don’t count! Stop playing games! You lucky it was you, and not another girl who caught his attention. You got what you asked for! I wish he tell you, he knew it was you alone! LOL! #GROWUP!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2011):

I would simply tell him the truth. You know the truth now and you need to let him know why you're dumping him. Don't let him talk you into anything or make you feel bad- he is the one cheating on you! I can't trust you anymore and I think it's best we go our separate ways is good thing to say to start out. He may try to talk his way out of it but don't listen. If this is a deal breaker for you stick to it and move on.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2011):

Don't feel bad hes the one being an asshole! tell him straight up that yes you did a fake profile but it was for a good reason. Hes the one cheating on you. !

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