A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am visitng my family for 3 weeks, and away from my boyfriend of 4 years. I have called him today on his cellphone and he was getting ready to visit his dad at the hospital and was in a hurry. While talking to me, he said that "im bugging his life and then tells me to f-off " then hangs up on me. I called back and left him a msg on voicemail. To what extent does one accept this? because i dont. my flight going back to him is next week and now im becoming unsure. What would u do if u were in my shoes?
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female
reader, cuttieicy  +, writes (3 June 2007):
 if he really loves you he will never do that
wake up there are plenty of guys there find a mind will respect you,
A
female
reader, laurie-loo  +, writes (28 May 2007):
 well, seen as though youve been with your boyfrend for 4 year, i dont think you should through the relationship away over something like this, you havent stated what you and your boyfrend were talking about when he told you to f off. if you were arguing maybe he just got caught up in the moment with the stresses of his father being in hospital. but despite all this i do think you deserve an apology. my boyfrends grandfather was in hosptial the other week very ill and when he become argumentitive or moody i let it slip just over the time when he was under so much stress because i knew he was hurt and upset about how ill his grandad was becoming. (unfortunatley he passed away last week)i dont think he had the right to say that to you but i do think you and him need to have a sit down and talk about things when you get back. i hope you enjoyed your holiday never the less of what your boyfrend said and hope things work out for the best. xxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2007): Thank you for clarifying your position in what led up to this rude outburst of your bf's. A simple statement from him like, "I am stressed, I am upset about my Father. I have to go. I will talk to you later" would've sufficed.
I don't care what led up to this bf of yours saying such a thing to you. People choose how they react to others. Let's put the lack of responsibility and respect where it should be...on him. We don't talk to the ones we love in such a disparaging way...I repeat--this man owes you an apology.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2007): Response to my post:well, his dad broke his leg earlier that day resulting in his dad waiting long hrs in the er...my bf didnt know about it till the evening about what has happened. with regards, to me calling, we both that when i call him it should be in the evenings since it is much cheaper. i got an email from my bf about the accident, and when i read it i called him asap and that's where this happened..he originally was to go to a soccer game that evening and that didnt happen since he had to go to the hospital...i called to inquire about what he knows about the accident and wishing all well to his dad..and in the midst of all this..that was when he bursted out.
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A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit +, writes (26 May 2007):
 He was going to the hospital to see his dad, yet that is all you mention. What was the nature of the conversation you were having with him that would make him want to cut it off? I think those details are VERY important in this case. Did you leave them out for a reason?
When my dad was ill in the hospital, if I was rushing to see him, the last thing I would want would be someone to yak in my ear about things that were unimportant. If they were at all insensitive, I blew them off completely.
My guess is that he was thinking about his dad, and if you were not listening to him, or getting him to talk about what was on his mind then yeah, it makes sense that he would act out of character.
I am not so sure that he owes you an apology, until you can clear up what the conversation was about, and what was up with his dad.
The nature of your email makes me suspicious...as if you left out such info so people on this site would side with you, without considering what makes a man out of character.
-FBK
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2007): I agree with DV1...he does owe you an apology. Don't accept what he did. This was a clear case of invalid anger, on his part and he chooses how maturely he reacts and responds to others. I don't care how stressed, angry, pissed off, hurried or upset anyone is...no one has the right to tell a loved one to 'f**ck off". That was uncalled for and very disrespectable. Set a boundary- never accept this type of behavior again.
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A
male
reader, DV1  +, writes (26 May 2007):
 Let him be. If he wants to talk to you, let him call you. Regardless of why he might have been angry, he still owes you an apology. Until then, move on with your life, and if something better comes along, take it.
DV1
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A
female
reader, Pork Hock +, writes (26 May 2007):
Again this depends on the situation, you don't know what the situation was when he was rushing to the hospital or how he was dealing with this. I think you take the high-road, let this lie and let him contact you as painful and difficult as it is. You can't do anything until you've been asked to be involved. Leave him alone he clearly is in panic and shock and shock can do really strange things and affect you very personally, so don't you take it personally.
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A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (26 May 2007):
 That depends, sounds like what he said mightve been an emotional reaction to stress, particularly if his dad is really ill and he wanted to go see him but he felt you were being demanding by wanting to talk on the phone. Does this sound possible? I'm just going on the info you've given but if that sounds like it might be right then wait until you get back and then send him a card or an email apologising for being a nuisance when he was worried about his dad. Then again, he might decide that while his dad is ill he doesn't have time to worry about you. This is a time when he needs love and support and possibly doesn't have the time or energy to give constant reassurance. Let things cool down and then deal with them when you're at home and can do so more directly.
CD
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