A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I met my wife 15 years ago when we were 21, she was and is the most amazing lady I have ever met!In the beginning of our relationship life was great and we share so many good times and passions, within 2 years she became pregnant and we had a second child in the forth year, after that we decided that it might be best if she had an iud, shockingly 2 years after having it she became pregnant again, when we saw the scan with our baby's heart beat we knew that we had to keep her... the downside was where we were living was too small, so we sold our house and brought a really big run down house thinking that we could do it up etc, but we completley under budgeted for it and most of the work we did when we finished work or at weekends, all this leading to us both being very tired and poor.we started argung a lot and sometimes they got very heated but we would always sit down and sort them out, she would always tell me afterwards she loved me and I was her soul mate, our sex life was always amazing, then one day we had a really huge argument over money (or lack of it) and she was right in my face and for the first time in all those years I slapped her round the face, the moment I did it I felt sick and couldn't believe i had done it, she packed her stuff and moved out with the kids there and then, that night I stupidly took an overdose cause I seriously couldnt bear to live without her and the kids, my mum found me and thankfully I was ok, my wife heard and came to the hospital a few days later and said we should try to work through it and we did and everything was great for 2 yearsThen when it was my birthday we were going out with friends for a meal and a few beers, she cried a few hours before it as our daughter was ill, she told me to go anyway and I did, I have to admit I got so drunk that the whole night is a blur, but I do remember coming home and wanting sex with her and her getting nasty with me saying I was disgusting cause I smelt like beer and curry, I tried kissing her and for the first time ever she turned round and said "why dont you just f off" she then pushed me really hard off the bed... next thing I just lost it with her.. yes I am a disgusting person because I attacked her, from the police pictures quite badly, and just as awfully in front of the kids as they had come to see what all the noise was.I was arrested but wasn't sent to jail as she dropped the charges and didn't want to give evidence against me, but she did divorce me and brought me out of our home, as part of my sentence I had to go to anger management and I feel I am a differnt person after my treatment I would never hurt anyone... men or women again.now 5 years on she has remarried and has had a baby with her new husband, I still see her weekly as I have the kids a lot, I have had several relationships but they never last as I am still in love with her.. when I see her I shake and feel sick, in the first year she was rightly very frosty with me, but said her love for our children was stronger than her hate for me, but over the last 2 years she is very friendly to me and often hugs me, she even told me via a instant message thing I was having with the kids that she misses me and still loves me, but she is married?so that's my question what do I do? I want her back so badly I would do anything, I would never do anything to hurt her again, should I tell her or should i leave her to get on with her life? I just want her to be happy.my kids say they dont want us to get back together and I understand why? they think I would hurt her again (I have never so much as raised my voice to them) they also really like their step dad as he is a police man and makes them feel safe.I am so confused I just want my family back, even with her new baby I would love like my own.. please help
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2010): some lessons are learned the hard way but are only tragic when repeated,your young life is not over, you will meet someone new and you can make it work if you concentrate on the present not the past, don't allow lost love to haunt your next relationship and don't ever under any circumstances argue when drunk ,save it for the next day if you cann't do that then quit drinking completely. you have to let her go and you have to forgive yourself because you have to be able to love yourself or no one else will be able to love you. be a good man and good things will happen.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2010): Let it go, she's moved on- you need to as well... let her get on with life.
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