A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am a 34 year old female looking to take things to the next level with my current boyfriend. I have been divorced for 18 months and was with my ex for almost ten years. Even though I was married, I am rather inexperienced. I have only ever had sex with my ex husband. I have not had any other relationships with men due to low self esteem and poor self image, so I didn’t expect I would date after my divorce. I am a very big girl, so men usually don’t pursue me, and I never had the confidence to ask a guy out. I have been changing myself for the better and have developed healthy eating habits. I have already lost fifty pounds on own since my divorce. I am in the last stages of being approved for weight loss surgery, so please no judgement. I have been working on my self confidence but it’s still a struggle. I have been dating a very amazing man for the past two months, and I have never been so happy. He is a colleague that started off as a friend. I actually had a crush on him for a while but never entertained thoughts of dating him. I NEVER thought he would be interested. He is out of my league in the looks department. I was shocked when he asked me out. He actually had to convince me for weeks that he was serious. At this point, we have only made out and I would love to take things to the next level sexually. I know he wants that as well, but I am so nervous. He has never pressured me into sex. He assures me he thinks I am beautiful and loves my body. I do believe him, but he has yet to see me naked. Does he know what he is getting into, by taking me to bed or is it possible that he may run for the hills, disgusted by my body once I take my clothes off? Of course, he already knows I am big, but I feel like getting naked is a different level. I am so insecure, I still feel sometimes like he is going to tell me is playing a cruel joke on me? Has a man ever been turned off by a woman once he has gotten her naked? Is it possible this handsome guy is actually attracted to me and wants me? Looking for advice or reassurance.
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confidence, crush, divorce, insecure, my ex, self esteem Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2022):
Glad you have a good relationship and would love to take things to the next level sexually. It good that you talked about it with him and he wants that as well. It shows that he cares is he has never pressured me into sex. Sex can be a good thing for a relationship and a gift you can give to each other when it feels right. Being nervous is understandable. However, you look forward to enjoying this intimate and part of a good relationship, but the thought of presenting your naked body to your new man seems daunting. right? Sounds like he is letting you take your own time and set the pace. Sound like you can believe him when he says that you have a beautiful body. It doesn't matter how many other women a guy has seen naked. The first time you get undressed in front of him he's going to respond like a kid unwrapping a Christmas present. He's likely been wondering what you look like naked for quite some time, and no matter how much he's thought of it the reality is always going to be better. So just do it and have fun with it…
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (29 January 2022):
 I'd say just go slow. If you sare till a little vary of his "true intent" then just hold off on the sex a bit. There is no rush to get naked with each other.
Get to know him better. When YOU feel ready then talk to him before you get in bed. Let him know you are a bit nervous, dim the lights (or have candle light - they are always flattering :))
It's OK to be a little nervous, OP
He knows you aren't a "skinny-mini" - so he isn't going to be SO shocked when you get undressed. He probably likes a curvy woman and that is partly why he asked you out.
You got this.
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A
male
reader, Chip +, writes (29 January 2022):
 I will make this short and right to the point. Regardless of what you think of yourself, if he has been dating you fro 2 months, then it's because he truly cares for you. If the 2 of you want it to go to the next level, then go for it. He's not going to shame you because of your weight. I would be willing to bet on it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2022): I seem to remember you received from very good answers and advice the last time you posted this question. So, maybe take a look at those again?
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