A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My wife and I have been together for over six years and have a wonderful family and life together. We are deeply in love and I would like to think be together forever. We have a great and fulfilling sex. One of the issues early in our relationship was the differences in our sexual experiences. I have been with a less then 10 other women. She has had 40+ previous sexual partners most of them during a wild period during teenage years. She has had group sex, a MMF threesome and a MFF threesome with a married couple in her early 20s. It was shocking to hear about this but we have made peace about it and understand it different strokes and all that. Everything has been great up until a few months ago when the female in my wife's previous threesome Facebooked her. She told me about this previous relationship and I found out that it much more then just a drunken few nights but that she had a real relationship with this woman that lasted for almost a year. She said that she never had any sexual contact with the husband but they would all share the same bed. My wife broke it off when the other wife told my wife that she was in love with her.My wife and I have always experimented with her bisexual side but this info kind of pushed everything into overdrive. We have been strip clubs before she has gotten lap dances which was a huge turn on for both of us. When we watch porn we only watch lesbian porn. We have talked about having another woman join us but have always reconsidered because of the possible damage to our relationship. But this new development had sent both of our imaginations into hyperdrive. We both agree that I will not touch the other woman and she will only do it with me in the room with her. We have talked and talked about it but that is all that we have done. I am going crazy obsessing over watching her with another woman. Whenever I stop obsessing, she tells me about a dream that she had about her being with another woman or she will tell me that she touched herself while thinking about a threesome with me and a woman. She is driving me crazy!I need advice, should I push the issue with her? Basically put up or shut up? We have looked at going into back to a strip club but we been there and done that. We have looked into going into a swingers club but neither one of us wants to swap or have another guy watching our fun. I havel considrered putting a pic of her on some adult sites and see what kind of response I get but doing so without her knowledge feels too close to pimping her out. But she will not do that kind of thing on her own either. I am not sure Bshe would react if I surpise her one night but this is driving me crazy! I need some advice. Please help!wanted to leave the husband for my wife.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2012): Hey homes. Working up a threesome would be great. But you don't want to risk losing you wife to her.
Put the foot down on the old chica loca and work up something where emotion won't get in the way.
A
female
reader, Ciar  + ♥, writes (1 October 2012):
 Do NOT surprise her with something like this. It's not fair to her and it's a horrible thing to do to an invited guest. I'll come back to the guest in a moment.
And do NOT post her picture on ANY sites whatsoever. It feels too close to pimping her out because that is exactly what it is, even if it's only to test the market. Her reputation and possibly her safety could be jeopardized. Her image belongs to her and you have no right to publish it without her consent.
Fantasizing about this and doing it are not the same. In fantasy, everything goes according to plan. Everyone looks great, feels great, the scene ends whenever we want it to and most importantly, we're in total control. The reality is often very different.
The fantasy obviously appeals to your wife but she isn't ready to act on it and I don't know that she'll ever be. For your own sanity and her well being, assume it is just talk, regardless of how detailed and excited she gets.
If and when you two ever do decide to bring this to fruition, remember that your guest is a person and not a tool. How do you think they would feel if they were greeted by a shocked and angry wife? And the fact that you didn't even consider that suggests you haven't given them any consideration outside of what they can do for you.
Do not push this issue. In fact drop it and tell her to do the same, or like I said, assume it's all just talk.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2012): Sounds it fantasy to me nothing more, and I think because you want it to go further your misreading it... I sometimes have erotic dreams of another female, could I be with one in real life, hell NO.. Would I want to stop telling these dreams to my hubby.. Just because he's decided he wants to have his cake and eat it...I think you need to have a calm talk about this, and ask her is she just fantasising about other females and threesomes or is she laying foundation.. I however don't think it's the latter.. But if I were she, I would be worried that you seem to be taken this to heart and want to actual do it.Her past is her past, not yours and what she did then is not what she doing now, following where I leading.I do not think that in reality she want to see the man she loves ie. YOU, being with some bit of skirt or whatever, she loves YOU . This would mess up your relationship and life, do you want that?I think you also need to think about what you want..As if me, I wouldn't want to be with you if this is what you were actually wanting to happen..I do wish you both well and hope that you both get this sorted .
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A
female
reader, Read-the-signs  +, writes (28 September 2012):
I think, knowing your interest, she could easily have arranged to get together with a woman by now if she was that into the idea. Sounds to me like she likes to light your fire with these discussions and then reap the benefits without actually involving anyone else for real.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (28 September 2012):
 I think your wife is winding you up, telling you about her thoughts and dreams and stirring you up.
There are thousands of hook up sites all over the internet and finding another woman to have a threesome cannot be that hard...it seems that it is your wife who is holding up the issue.
It's fair enough if she does not want to indulge again in this type of activity (her body her choice and all that) but it's not fair that she keep talking about it...so I think you need to tell her
'If it's not going to happen, would you mind if we never talk about it again'
It's a very BAD idea to think about surprising her...believe me...you DO NOT want to go there!!!
Unless she initiates and does the finding and agrees to sort it out...I'd leave well alone but do tell her that the thought of it is making you crazy and it's time for her to shut up about it if she isn't going to bring the dream alive.
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