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I am 13 and I want to lose my virginity

Tagged as: Teenage, Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (19 July 2007) 37 Answers - (Newest, 28 September 2008)
A female United Kingdom age 13-15, anonymous writes:

i am a 13 year old girl and want 2 loose my virginity but the thing is i do not no how to have sex and plus im scared if i bleed whilst having sex!!is there any chances that i will bleed?and my mates say that you cant walk after wards is that true?and they say that you become more happier in your self an change the way you walk is that true???can you please help me x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2008):

Okay.

Well I am in the same situation.

Im 13 also.

I wanna lose my virginity.

Not just to say I dont have it.

But because there is a boy I really love.

But I also dont want to give it up.

And then be left without it.

That is one of my fears.

But I know sooner or later it will most likely happen.

So Im not really worried about it.

I must say I am for sure using a lubricated condom for my first time.

I hear it makes things much easier.

And my best friend has sex and she walked perfectly fine.

I would have never knew if she wouldnt have told me.

And from what I also heard, you do bleed.

But that depends too.

(=

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2008):

I want to give you a piece of advice.. do not lose your virginity so young, i am 14 and i lost it 2 months ago and i had only known the guy for 1 month and barely a half and i htought he was my world well we had sex and he left me and i never talk to him and coming to find out he has a 19 yr old pregnant and he lies to her about me and calls me a stalker... God tells us to wait to wait til we get married and i know you may say well that is dumb ,, he just doesnt want us to share something so important with a guy that we will not be with in a day,month,week,or year he wants us to have sex with the one we will be with for the rest of our lives, i regret everyday for giving my virginity away to that boy and wish that i could take it back because i would have changed so many things, make sure you atleast use a condom because that is another thing i have done and thank God that boy didn't give me a disease because i dont know what i would do =[

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A female reader, xxxsandyxxx United Kingdom +, writes (12 August 2008):

that's rubbish you can still walk after sex how you do you think people still do it duuh!

i lost it when i was 12 and it was the bigggest mistake i have ever made in my life DON'T DO IT

it wasnt even worth it the relationship lasted only 2 weeks after just enjoy ur self being young and dont think about that stuff now

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2008):

ok 1 y did ur friends tell u, u cant walk after it? Thats not true, how old r they, did they already have it at 13?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2008):

wooooow. WHY DO U WNNA LOSE IT??!! IM MEAN LIKE THATS JUST SAD, WATS UP WIT U? GURL C'MON! I MEAN LIKE NOW UR LIKE NOT VIRGIN! jus sayin- im sorry bout that... u should'nt have... yep o yeppo ya noe its not xactly sooo cool not having ur virginity cuz not only that it should be SPECIAL- BUT i mean like 4 real i mean like 13??!!! even 16... thats sorta crazy!! ya well, srry bout that xoxo much luv!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2008):

i am 13 and i just lost mi virginity 5 days ago and i bled afterward. i didnt use a condome and tht was a big mistake. just b careful wen u loose it. it hurts soooooooo bad. i was bout 2 cry it hurt so much. and i mite b pregnant at 13. so a note 2 every1....USE A CONDOM!!!!!!!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2008):

dont worry about it most people do bleed after having sex but of course you can walk properly afterwards and you dont change the way you walk at all

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2008):

Well, there is a chance u will bleed. But, don't do something u don't want to do. And if u want to have sex then do it but, I have 2 things to tell u once u lose it your never gettin it back.And please use a condom...

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A female reader, Danielle06 United States +, writes (2 April 2008):

Danielle06 agony auntokay im 13 and i have a boyfriend that i like really alot & i dont care what you people say about "ohh your only 13 you dont need to worry about that" okay w.everrr' anywaysss & im scared im gonna loos him & how do i keep him :]?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2008):

hii

i am 13 2 but neva had sex iz it bcuz the boy wants u to have sex or u jus wana no how it feelz????

well i going to tel u the reel deal evry one thats above or below iz wrong and rite

dont do it if the boy wants u too do it bcuz u want n b sure u no wah u r getting ur self n to ok i hav not done it b for but i do no about it boyz will talk u down until u say yes dont let them ok

listen to what i am saying this realy would help alot ok im glad u read this if u did

yes u r a kid but u make ur own decisions no one else does this iz all up 2 one person n that iz u

cup cake from cali

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A male reader, cooljonah2001 United States +, writes (28 March 2008):

i am 13 and i dont think you would bleed. i lost my virginity and the girl i had sex with didnt bleed. and you can walk after having sex but i am a guy and i past out afterwards because i was alot of work.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2008):

none of that is true no you probably wouldnt bleed im thirteen and well... i have lost my virgintity and the girl that it happened with didnt bleed so i dont know if this helped you or not... oh if you want any more info. [email address blocked]

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2008):

look hunnie, you ovb don know anything about sex, dont do anything untill you know how to do it!

you wouldnt jump out of a plane if you didnt no how to open the parachute would you?

take it easy, and oneday the time will come=]

and the only reason im writing this is because i lost the big 'v' at 13, and i have regreten it ever since!

TAKE YOUR TIME!

x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2007):

..Hiya

That Girl Below Seriously Come on .. Yeah so shes 13.. Bit young yeah but talk about scare her from havein sex for life!..

Yes your firsts times not great isit.. and Come on heartbroken? how many people do you no that are wif the person they lost their virginity to??..yeah not many..didnt think so..You can be 13 23 33 103 your still guna get heartbroke at some point..

simple fact is you telling her that aint gunna stop her if she really wants it isit..soo yeah alright you might get pregnant..or an std/sti n stuff but you've got that risk wether it your first time or not..

People telling her not to do it..Makes her think fuck it ill do it even more..

Be safe though yeah..the guy you loose it to aint gunan be the ' one ' just make sure you want it..you may not be in love with him..but make sure you alright with the situation first..and think about it

x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2007):

You just answered your own question, you said you are worried to bleed and have harm done on you. For most people sex is supposed to be "fun" and at this age it can ONLY be painful. You are ONLY 13, you are still just a kid...I know you are 13, a teen and mature. You can get an STD, get pregnant, etc. By the way an STD is a sexually transmitted disease...there can be some REALLY dangerous ones that can kill you. If you even have sex...what happens if you get pregant? How you do think your parents will be able to cope with that fact. Think about this as well, a guy wanting to have sex with a 13 year old girl is definately a play boy and probably has had sex with other girls as well. Look sweetie, you have no idea what you will get yourself into if you have sex...trust me and have it after you get married. When you are younger your vagina is also a lot smaller than most women and it will really hurt. I don't want to break your heart hun, but your boyfriend is immature if he wants to have sex with a 13 year old, I will tell you what will happen, you will lose your virginity forever and he will definately cheat or break up with you. Right now you are 13 so you may not be understanding what I mean. Obviously this isn't the guy you are going to marry! He is not the ONE. So why lose your virginity to him? You'll grow up and meet new guys and if they find out you lost your virginity at 13 and are no longer a virgin, chances are they won't want to go out with you anymore. I am telling you all these things because if you decide on having sex, you will regret it FOR LIFE. I mean all sorts of things, depression, pregnancy, STD, etc. Is this guy forcing you to have sex with him ro something? Because if he is then he is totally a jerk! I'll tell you now...he doesn't like you at all, he just wants to have sex with you, take your virginity and one day he'll leave you. Alone, without your virginity. If I am scaring you then it is good, because that means it is all working. YOU DO NOT WANT TO LOSE YOUR VIRGINITY. I myself am 18, I still think I am just a kid and am not ready until I get married to the "one". I know all this because when I went to high school I would see this happen to girls all the time. I really mean this, there was not one girl that wasn't heart broken after sex.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2007):

im only 12 and i am also curious but i dont think im going to just because if it really causes girls that much pain i dont want to do that to them

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2007):

i would really think this over .

because i am 13 and i have had sex before, and you bleed a lot, like really a lot, and it does hurt quite bad .

i really don't remember how much it hurts because i was drunk.

but it was a mistake, and i would think about it .

oh & i could walk, but i was really sore .

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2007):

I konw your probably tired of everyone talking down to you like a child, but that's because you are one! There is no reason you should be having sex at this young of an age.

You might think you love this person, but there's no way you can truly know what love is until your older. Not to mention, loosing your virginity at 13 while your practically still a child is not attractive. I know it may seem like it's cool or the popular thing to do, but real men don't find it attractive at all! Quite the opposite, you will find yourself fighting off a what people think of you for the rest of your life. People will think that they can use you just for sex, and the only person you'll end up hurting is yourself, or a baby if your not careful!

Wait until your older so you reap the benefits of sex, not be so worried about it hurting and bleeding!

DON'T DO IT!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2007):

Listen Chick..Am 13 And Am Gna Lose Mine This Saturday To Someone I Love. Yes U Prob Will Bleed But The Person Yr Doin It With Shouldnt Care. Just Make Sure U Love Them. xox

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2007):

The first time you have sex you will bleed. You are just a kid. Why do you think it's cool to have sex. You're really going to be in pain if you get pregnant.Plus it doesn't matter if you or your sex partner are using protection because you can get sexually transmitted diseases,which some can even kill you. If I were you I would stay away from sex because it's not safe.

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A female reader, amber nuttall United Kingdom +, writes (14 August 2007):

Don't have sex at such a young age, i made that mistake.

I bled, couldnt walk. It was swollen, sore and painful for days! It was the worse experience of my life, and have regretted it ever since.

Unfornately, i never wanted to have sex again. I always got scared and worried.

Now im in love, and enjoy sex.

please sweetheart, wait.

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A female reader, tasha2007 United Kingdom +, writes (14 August 2007):

tasha2007 agony aunt..Errr sweetheart if your asking these questions yur obviously not ready for sex... When i say that i mean before you decide to give away your virginity to someone you should be aware of whats going to happen to save yourself worrying afterwards.

Your still young and your body hasn't matured completely yet, you could also risk getting cervic cancer so just be aware of what the risks are.

Loosing your virginity should be a memorable experience with someone you trust and love.

Just wait a while till you AND your body are ready.

Hope this helps. =]

xx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2007):

Omggg nooooooo

lol

I'm 15 and just lost my virginity.

bad idea.

i'm now very depressed.

and wondering why I did it...

don't please =]

wait a bit longer.

Rosie.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2007):

Heya, my names jonny , just a little piece of advice for you. Im 15 years old and lost of my v to a lass at 13.

You can still walk propley after having sex if you have done it in the correct way. However some girls tend to bleed when having sex for the first time, this is nothing to serious because the bleeding some stop sortly after.

Please remember to where protection, a well lubed condom helps alot when having sex for the first time.

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A female reader, DIE-romantic. United Kingdom +, writes (24 July 2007):

DIE-romantic. agony auntVirginity isnt like a toy, once you lose it, you lose it forever, part of your childhood, its something that should be lost with someone special and who you sincerely love, not just for the sake of it, and you are way too young. But ive never heard you walking funny after having sex. :S you may bleed though, because your body is still developing and it may tear it slightly.

xxxx

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A male reader, advice12 United States +, writes (23 July 2007):

ok like she said yes you are to young and its just curroisity. I would wait 13 is alittle young and you need to know the responsibility that comes with sex. like pregnancy and stds. believe me its easy to say no it wont happen to me but believe it or not it happens more often then it should. just take your time, i know theres a lot of peer presure and talk about how good it feels. but believe it or not the first time isnt gonna feel great. to answer your questions yes you will bleed and depending on the situation you will be able to walk. but before you have sex if you decide to please look into it more. get as much information as possible. please protect yourself and dont let anyone preasure you into doing anything you dont want to its your choice. good luck

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A female reader, ladybug Philippines +, writes (23 July 2007):

ladybug agony auntHey!! you are too young, i believe that you are only urged by you sexual curiosity and that's totally normal, BUT the fact that you wanted to lose your virginity at that age! nahh! honey, sex is amazing at the right TIME, right AGE, and with the right MAN, you should not hurry for it, besides, your virginity is the best gift you could offer for your futute husband.

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A female reader, katzkitten United Kingdom +, writes (22 July 2007):

katzkitten agony aunt"i am a 13 year old girl and want 2 loose my virginity" - right hunnie, your only 13 dont rush it or u'll regret it. wait until your in a proper relationship. Makes the sex sooo much better! trust me!

"the thing is i do not no how to have sex" - No1 knows how to have sex, it just comes naturaly. dont stress it, dont force it, just relax and enjoy yourslef.

"plus im scared if i bleed whilst having sex!!is there any chances that i will bleed?" - you most probably will bleed. its beacuse your hemen gets torn. dont worry its not too much but to be safe have a pad to put in your knikers afterwards. it makes sense :).

"and my mates say that you cant walk after wards is that true?" - they would be totaly wrong here! after losing my virginity i walked for 20 minites to meet my friend. i walked perfectly normal! dont stress it!

"they say that you become more happier in your self an change the way you walk is that true" - i didnt have sex to make myself seem happier and neither should you. You get a bit of a buzz but thats more about the exitment not the lossing your virginity. also i walk absoloutly no different. if people did dont you think their parents would notice straight away,

Right now ive answered all your question heres some extra advice.

Think carefully about why you want to loose your virginity.

is it because all your friends have or is it because you truly love someone?

trust me it will be the crapest shag you'll ever have if you just sleep with someone for the sake of it.

it wont mean anything and you wont feel anything for the person,

please be carefull

all my love,

Emily xx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2007):

Heya honey. Why do you want to give up your virginity? It is precious and special, but by the sound of your question it feels like you just want to grow up way too fast. you may feel pressure in this day and age to have sex at the first opportunity but it is even more of a triumph to wait for the right person. you deserve better than an illegal one night stand.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2007):

Yes when you have sex for the 1st time you will bleed .

If your scared don't have sex, and your 13 the time will come

don't rush it your virginty is everything, lose to some one you love

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A female reader, mary-lee Australia +, writes (20 July 2007):

mary-lee agony auntyou are still basically a baby. and from your question you clearly have no idea what having sex involves, or the consequences no only physically but emotionally.

if you dont lose your virginity to someone you love, you will probably regret it later in life. i suggest you go and research a little about sex. as for bleeding, ths bigger the penis, the bigger the chance of bleeding. your little body wouldn't be able to handle anything to big.

please reconsider what you are planning to do, you dont want to wreck your body at this age. your friends clearly aren't mature enough for sex if they say you can walk after it.

However if you really want to have sex, please use a condom and consider the pill if it is going to be an ongoing occurance. you can visit your doctor to access the pill.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2007):

Hon, why on earth do you feel compelled to surrender your virginity (not to mention your innocence, your right to be a teen without an unwanted baby clinging to you, and quite possibly your health). From your question, it sounds like you have no idea what is truly involved in such a decision, no clue as to its consequences. And I say that only as a concerned parent of a teenage girl. Your first time should be special, with someone you care about, and an informed decision, not done as a dare or an act of rebellion. Sex at your age can be quite painful, result in some bleeding, and hardly enjoyable. More likely to make you feel regret and shame, then pleasure or self-esteem. Talk to an adult or teacher whom you can trust. You can't believe most of what your mates on the playground say when it comes to sex. It's all a lot of talk, most of it wrong. Please don't do this, but make him use a condom if you do. Otherwise, you're gambling with your life.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2007):

Why do you want to lose your virginity at such a young and tender age? Is it because of your friends? I guess the answer to that one is yes rather the reason being that you've found someone that you really love and want to spend the rest of your life with (not that that usually happens when you are only just a teenager). Also it is illegal to have sex until you are 16 (or 18 in some other countries). Make the right decision and keep your virginity for someone special and when you are at least 16. If you ever had sex with someone not a minor you would get them in big trouble with the police. You do bleed when you have sex for the first time but make sure, for your sake, that you keep your virginity until you are at least 16.

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A female reader, sxcbabiegal United Kingdom +, writes (19 July 2007):

sxcbabiegal agony aunti am not saying i disagree with what you want to do but are you really sure this is what you want? i lost my virginity when i was 13 and i am now only 14 but i am still with the guy i lost it too and we're still very happy in a relationship all i'm saying is don't you want to make sure that your with someone you love? and yes you may bleed during sex but it will only b a little bit and you may feel sore after just make sure your careful and make sure it's definitley what you want !!

Jodie xx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2007):

No, it isn't true that you can't walk. That's ridiculous. If that were true, there would be a lot of wheelchair bound people, especially after childbirth. They are refering to that fact that you are sore after losing your virginity, and you may have to walk a little slower, or with your legs a little further apart. You most likely will bleed, but not like gushing blood. I don't agree that you become more happy with yourself. It depends on the individual person involved, and the circumstances surrounding the event. I have a friend who cried all night, and felt very used after she lost her virginity. I think 13 is too young to have sex, but you're going to do what you want anyways so at least use a condom.

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A male reader, Andy00 United Kingdom + , writes (19 July 2007):

Andy00 agony auntWhy, child, do you want to lose your virginity when you don't even know how to have Sex?

You sound to me like you just want to lose it for the sake of losing it, and I'm telling you, that is not the way to go. You should saver losing your virginity to somebody who you really love. It's not something you should just want to losefor the sake of it.

That said, you're too young!! You're 13. It is ILLEGAL for you to have Sex - All the more reason to wait.

Sex is not something that you should rush into. There is a high risk of you bleeding when you have Sex, if your "hymen" has not already been broken. As far as not being able to walk afterward, I don't know about that for sure.

So, here's how I see it: You're too young to rush into Sex. You aren't even legally allowed to yet. You should wait until you're old enough, and above all else, until you find somebody you really want to share the experience with.

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A female reader, HisWifey07 United States +, writes (19 July 2007):

yes it will bleed maybe a lot or a little some people says that hurts but it depends on how you go about the plan to loose your virginity.Have you ever heard of the saying Pop your cherry well that saying from what my sex ed teacher tells us means that when a boy takes his penis and insert it real deep that when he pops your cherry the only thing he is doing is breaking through a piece of skin in the back of the vagina and the skin flaps open from then on i really didnt want to hear the rest so i was passing notes but i hope the info that i gave you is helpful

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