A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Okay this may be a long one here...I am going to describe the only THREE guys that have ever actually meant something to me in my life out of everybody, now I have been in relationships with a few guys but these three I cared about more than others.Guy number one i'll call him James* I was very young when I met James* and it was a bit of a whirlwind romance and I fell for him pretty fast then without warning one day he ended our relationship and left me pretty gutted so a few months down the line because I was so angry with him and wanted to hurt him I hooked up with his cousin.Then guy number two who I will call Jonathan* now this guy me and him were an on off item for just over a year when he started getting cold with me and seeing other girls behind my back once again I was left crushed and his best friend one night made a move on me so I went along with it because I was angry at Jonathan* however I didnt sleep with his best friend I managed to snap myself out of it.Then finally guy number three who I will call Christopher* now out of the three this is the one who really stole my heart I fell in love with him and I still love him it has been six months since we broke up and the pain of it is still so fresh and raw...Now me and Christopher* went through alot together we were strong I thought this was it but then one day he just ended it he said because we had hardly seen each other for a few weeks because we were busy working etc and he found it hard...Anyway it was a shock but we remained good friends and I often went around to his place with our mutual friends for a few drinks and thats all it was just a friendship...Then one of Christophers* friends showed an interest in me so after a few months of getting to know him better we hooked up and afterwards I was angry, upset, full of regret and fell as though I had betrayed Christopher* and then I found out Christopher* had been told and he was really bother by it and now me and Chris* haven't spoken for three months because of it I think if I gave him the chance he would speak to me but I just cant I feel so angry with myself.Please dont judge me harshly this is not the person I am or want to be I don't know why I do it I just want to hurt them like they hurt me but straight after I hate myself for it I hate it I hate that I do it I really do.Why do I do it and how can I stop?I love Christopher* with my whole heart and I cant believe I did that to him. I really cant stand myself right now...
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male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (24 October 2009):
 Well, I won't speculate why you do it, but it seems the reason is trying to hurt them where it hurts most. I understand the feeling, but I don't share it.
If you want to stop it, well, just do. It is clear that you understand how this is bad, and I mean bad for you.
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