A
female
age
30-35,
*ngelp27
writes:i am in love with my dads cousin he is married n has kids but still loves me more thn anhything he recently proposed to me n i really wnt to marry him but if my family found out then it would be disaster his family is not a problem. how should i convince my family?i knw he will treat me n his first wife the same i love him alot n to me his first wife doesnt seem a problem to me. i dont know what to do please help me
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (30 January 2012):
 why not let HIM deal with it?
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2012): Seems to this old man that he made his choice when he had his children, but I'm sort of old fashioned. Ignoring that, what do you do about the biology of marrying a first cousin once removed and what do you do about the prejudice against it? Well I say fight prejudice with facts. So get the facts. Here is the best referenceAn Association between Kinship and Fertility of Human Couples Agnar Helgason et al. SCIENCE vol. 329 no. 5864 February 8, 2008 page 813 - 816you can buy it from sciencemag.org. If you want to play around with the idea there is nobabies.net, which is not authoritative but it's free. The Sceince article shows graphs of fertilty against kinship. In the first generation what they call "second cousin or closer" and what you might call "first cousin once removed" like you and your cousin, have more babies than anybody else they looked at. Grandchildren were not that numerous, but there were still enough for replacments and and a lot more than if one married an unrelated stranger. So the biology seems to say "go for it." But look at the facts, not my slant on them. Then when people try to give you flack, you can answer, "But I'll have more babies than you will, nya nya," or some other becomming reply.All the best. Don't let the expected criticisms get you down. Get the facts.
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