A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hey everyone im 17 and im a girl and i feel that i have a huge problem. I masturbate a lot especially when i feel horny. I use my fingers and a vibrator and i orgasm most of the time. I am a virgin but i believe in marriage then sex with my partner but im finding it hard as i have alot of ideas that when i go to uni i will lose it sometimes i dream of losing it with a girl. Is this wrong? I watch porn when i masturbate but only lesbain porn. Does this make me a lesbain? Am i still a virgin even though i finger myself with one finger. Should I stop? When i start touching myself it feels good but when i cum and i finish i feel dirty and i feel guilty bit sometimes i will start all over again.My family are Christians and they would freak out at me. Ive nearly been caught by my mum but i told her i was using a electric nail filer and she left it at that. Please help i need some advice.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (20 January 2015):
 Nothing wrong in it. You're a virgin until you've had sex with another person, and the general definition is that you are a virgin until you've had a penis penetrate your vagina. However, such definitions don't really matter much, as if you're a lesbian you're not forever a virgin just because you haven't had sex with a man. You can lose your virginity with a girl too, it just really means having sex with another person. And sex can be anything really, from oral sex to penetration, to fingering to playing with toys together. It's really up to you to define this for yourself, no one else has the right to define you except yourself.
You're not a lesbian just because you watch lesbian porn or fantasize about being with a girl. You're a lesbian if you are only sexually/romantically attracted to women. Some people know what they are early on, others need to experiment in order to figure out what they are. Others again change as they grow, for many people sexual orientation changes through their life. I find it much easier to think in percentages. 100% into just ONE gender means you are 100% either heterosexual or homosexual. Heterosexual, but being able to tell whether the other gender is good looking or not: maybe 80% heterosexual and 20& homosexual. Perfectly bisexual is 50/50. But bisexuals are rarely 50/50, they, like myself, are more often somewhere around 60/40, leaning more towards one gender than the other, but still appreciating both genders. So who knows, maybe you like women 30& and guys 70%, or maybe you like women sexually 40%, but romantically you will want a guy 60%. That's where I am, I find women more sexually appealing than men, but I do not find myself romantically interested in women to the same degree.
Anyway, what you're doing isn't wrong. God loves you and wouldn't have given you the body you have if he didn't mean for you to enjoy all aspects of it. Stay safe and healthy, and you're good. But do keep it away from your mom, parents often don't know how to handle their children's sexuality, so it might be awkward if she "busts" you.
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