| A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes: Hello so I just ended a relationship with someone I have been with for five years. I was wondering how long I should wait until I would get into another relationship. He was my first love but I grew out of it fast because we dated young. Things have changed. My sisters have given me the advice to wait up to at least five years. They have gone through new relationships within two years. Is there really a time range? How would I know if I am ready? I don't want to mess anything up with the new relationship. I am in my 20s.
View related questions:
a break Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (19 July 2016):
 Five years is a bit much. There should be no time limit, it should just be when you feel it is right to go on a date or to move on, it is your choice, follow your heart. I do recommend giving yourself sometime to move forward, go out with friends, do hobbies, have fun in general, when or if you meet a guy you will know from how you are feeling if you are ready or not just take it slow and see how it feels.
A
female
reader, fishdish  +, writes (18 July 2016):
 It really depends on how you feel. Do you believe that you have no baggage--leftover pain, resentment that you might project onto your next relationship? Do you have the ability to trust in another person again? Will you refrain from using your ex as a measuring stick where you see how new men "measure up"? Then you may be ready. It's ok if you're not sure, if you get out there just to see where you're at. Your gut usually will tell you whether it's time or not.
...............................
A
female
reader, BlondeBabe x  +, writes (18 July 2016):
 Hey there lovie,Okay, wow...five years is a touch on the excessive side. The true answer to this 'the heart wants, what the heart wants.' Only you will know the true answer to this. No one can put a time limit on love and romance as such you will know yourself when the time is right. In this world people are quick to criticise left, right and centre but in the end, it is always up to you and you will make the right decision for yourself. The time you wait does not have an automatic negative impact on any new relationship. The only factor I would consider is make sure you are in yourself that you are ready to move on. But please, do not push away love simply because you don't think you have waited enough time. You never know what might be around the corner.Best wishesxxx
...............................
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (18 July 2016):
 Do you have someone in mind? Because unless you have someone in mind, the question of timing is irrelevant. Do your sisters have any reason for concern about you dating prior to five years? Especially as they dated in two years in a break up?
I'd say date someone when you are ready to date again, get into a relationship when you're ready to get into relationship. Unless you have just been freed from an abusive relationship, in which case, it seems to be common-sense you will need more time and help before starting to date again.
Did you have a specific time frame in mind?
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (18 July 2016):
 5 years seems excessive. WAY excessive, specially for someone in their 20's.. now if you were 13... year 5 years might be a good amount of time to wait, but you are an adult now.
I think you will know when you feel ready. I think when you have process the relationship, the break up and the REASON for that break up you might be getting ready.
And make sure you don't go date guys to "get over" the ex. That would be a rebound and not fair on the new guy.
I think 3-6 months after a 5 year relationship, but it REALLY comes down to you and HOW you feel. There is no hurry. I just wouldn't wait 5 years.
...............................
A
female
reader, miss frank +, writes (18 July 2016):
Your sisters advice is to wait five years?! Hell no! I wouldn't be taking that advice at all!
You sound like you had ended the relationship a while mentally before it ended, with your comment about outgrowing I fast as it was your first love. Its really up to you as to when you feel ready, when you might want a new relationship - you are young to have been five years with someone,maybe just have some fun without a guy for a bit, or date but nothing serious.
It's really up to when you feel healed from the last. Buy five years in my opinion is way too long to plan to wait- unless you spend five years happily not waiting but just not actively looking.
...............................
|
