A
female
age
22-25,
*esiderius
writes:Im pregnant for the second time and how do i tel my parents,my first baby is three years and my parents are pastors and wel knwn people they wil b ashamed of me wat must i do Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, quiet-echo  + ♥, writes (6 October 2009):
 Smarten up would be my suggestion. Tell them the same way you told them the first time.
I disagree with CaringGuy. As well intentioned as his advice is, this is NOT all about you. That is the very thinking that got you into this predicament in the first place.
Having a child is not all about mother and baby, particularly, as Askoldersister points out if others are going to be called upon for help. If the poster is a single woman, then what is to be done about the father? Is this going to be brought before the courts for a judge to sort out? Who pays for the legal fees? What about day care if she is working? Are tax payers going to be providing any additional support?
As GrimmReality says, you've provided very little information.
And in response to unconditional love, would they be better parents if they were proud of her regardless of what she did? Does that logic also apply to Jeffrey Dalmer's parents? If she is single and unable to support herself and they're going to be taking care of this child, it absolutely IS their right to be disappointed. That does not mean they don't love her or that they're bad parents.
A
male
reader, q1605  +, writes (1 October 2009):
 Are you making a connection between sex and pregnancy. It is widely believed that there is a link between the two. I have had a lot of sex and never been pregnant but I understand that it's that way for a lot of men. If you are a woman the aftereffects of sex may be different for you. I am not a Doctor so I can't definitively say. But you might want to check into it.
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A
male
reader, GrimmReality + ♥, writes (29 September 2009):
 Are you ashamed because that your parents are pastors and your child is conceived out of Wedlock? Is that why you are scared of telling your parents?
We really cant help you if you dont give us any info to go on. Because saying you are pregnant and your parents will be mad without giving us any circumstances surrounding this means that we cant really cant give you Advice.
Your response to the first couple of posters is simply looking for reinforcement that you can tell your parents to go to hell regardless of what they think. While that may be good advice if we were writing scripts to After School Specials for young teenagers, that is not what we are here for.
the questions that Ask Older Sister is asking is based on the fact that your age shows between 22 and 25 and because we have no information as to what your current situation regarding the man involved, your living or financial status.
We want to be able to give you the best advice possible, but please consider that we really cant without you being a bit more detailed.
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A
female
reader, Ask oldersister + ♥, writes (29 September 2009):
 Are you asking this question because your parents are supporting you and your child financially? Are you completely independent and have the means to support another child or will they bear some of this responsibility?
I get the impression you aren't married and I think any parent would be concerned about a young daughter on her own who chooses to have a second child. Do you have a good job that will pay for how much daycare will cost you?
I think before you tell your parents, you should have a good plan in place on how you are going to take care of both of these kids as a single parent. If this responsibility is going to fall on your parents, you should tell them right away so they can have time to prepare for the adjustment, okay?
I'm not judging- I'm a single parent myself but I also have a college education and own my own home so my parents don't worry about me. There's no reason your parents should be ashamed of you but they will probably have some concerns and that's because they love you and want what's best for you and their grandchildren. Take care and congrats on the new baby.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  + ♥, writes (29 September 2009):
This isn't about them. This is about you and your baby. Tell them. Then worry about yourself! Stress isn't good for a pregnant woman. You need to be healthy and happy, so enjoy being pregant!. This is about you.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia + ♥, writes (29 September 2009):
 You're a grown woman. It's your body, your baby, your life. Don't worry about your parents, all they have to do is deal with it. But this is your family now, your child, and baby on the way... and I'm sure you're not ashamed of them! So be proud of who you are, and your new addition to the family. It's a blessing, and I'm sure your parents will recognize that when they get to see his or her little face. Tell them gently and in a positive way. If you are excited, they should be excited with you! They will respond to the way that you tell them, so be happy about it when you talk to them! No worries! Lay back and relax... it's good for your health.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2009): they are not very good parents if they are ashamed of your actions are they? you are entitled to do what you want in life and having a baby is nothing to be ashamed of,and it is not thier place to be either. take care.
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A
female
reader, Desiderius +, writes (29 September 2009):
Desiderius is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for the wonderful advise.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2009): You're a grown woman. And this isnt the first time you have a child either. Take responsibility for your actions! Stand straight and give them the information and then move on with your life. Your life is your business. If they are ashamed thats their business and not yours.
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A
female
reader, mattie90 +, writes (29 September 2009):
 how did they react when you told them the first time if normal they will probabllt react the same. but if they didnt act so well the first time they might act the same way again. so just be carefull and pick the right time to tell them.
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