A
female
age
30-35,
*otstuff
writes:I don't know if I am ready for sex but I really want to give my boyfriend my virginity he is really nice and cares about me and is only willing to do it if I am ready for it. It will be my first time and he is wanting to make it the best. How will I know if I am ready or not?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2007): i feel like im ready for sex but feel afaid that i might do it wrong
A
female
reader, amber nuttall  +, writes (14 August 2007):
I offer my advice, and my advice is to wait for the right person, who you feel comfortable with.Don't blow your v on someone whom you don't love.and Wait for when the time happens, it will happen when it happens. aha.Don't plan these things, they are never what you expect if its like that.
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A
female
reader, GoddamnedROCKSTAR +, writes (13 August 2007):
 If you don't know, you aren't. Its that simple. When you are, you know it. And if you're asking, you're not.I hope this is helpful, baby.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2007): I think you ARE ready but just not with him. You say your bf is "nice" and "cares about you."
That's cool and all but wouldn't you rather have sex with someone who is so gorgeous, and adventurous, and cool, and you always get butterflies, and he treats you like a queen, and he excites you and you are just CRAZY about him...than with someone who is just "nice."???
I personally think that is where the problem is. You are not crazy about him. I mean sex is something you are technically ready for when you start ovulating. So I think you are definitely "ready". I just don't think he REALLY does it for you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2007): My first time deserves no comment, just because the guy I did with, was my bf, but turned out to be a complete jerk. It's like anonymous said below, most people usually regret their first time.
So consider yourself one of the lucky few! You have a great guy and you seem to know what you are doing and what you want. So good for you.
My first experience was a lot like tasteofindia describes her's. Like, you might not even be able to go through with it the first or second time even, just because it can be painful. It's almost like you are going to have to practice before you can even start enjoying it. But maybe your experience will be different. I hope so.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (12 August 2007):
 Hi (again!),
You asked what our first time was like... well, mine was really special. It just happened.
I was 19 years old, and I had been saving my virginity for quite some time. I had had plenty of boyfriends in middle and high school, and I had really, really liked some of them - but there was something in the back of my mind that told me to hold out. So I did.
Then I met "G". Something about him was just right. We hit it off right away and things just felt so natural. There was no planning really, there wasn't a shred of doubt... things just sort of progressed. The first time we had sex, it was a wonderful experience and I was so glad I had waited!
It did hurt. I'm not gonna lie to you. The first time it didn't even really work! It hurt too much! It was excruciating. Finally I had to throw in the towel. And, unfortunately, it took us an entire MONTH of diligence to finally get it to work! Talk about a process... a month to lose my virginity? My God!
But, the journey was all part of the fun. How much fun we had trying! And two years later "G" and I are still together, and I'm so glad that I held out and waited for him.
I can only hope that your experience is extremely special.
To be PERFECTLY honest, I don't think that you're ready only because you keep using the word "think". You "think" you are ready. I really think that you should just go with the flow. Don't force it! Why rush? This weekend, maybe you should just use the time getting to know each others bodies... but don't plan sex. It's not as much fun if you plan it. The best things in life come unexpectedly.
Oh yes, and before you have sex, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE go to Planned Parenthood and get yourself on birth control! It's easy, it's free, it's confidential and it's RESPONSIBLE. Then you won't have to worry about pregnancy at all! Being ready for sex means being ready for the consequences that may arise.
Hope my story gave you a little insight!!
Enjoy being young and having fun!
xxIndia
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A
female
reader, hotstuff +, writes (12 August 2007):
hotstuff is verified as being by the original poster of the question thank you guys! We have been together for a year and I think I am ready but I don't know what to expect what was your first time like? We are getting together this weekend while his roomate is away and I think we are ready. Can you give me more details on how to make it the best? thanks again I appreciate it A LOT!!!!!hotstuff
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (12 August 2007):
What a lucky girl you are!! It sounds like your boyfriend really cares about you and wants to wait until you feel like you're ready. Like the others have said, if you're having any sort of doubt - you're probably not ready.
How long have you two been together? My general rule for younger couples, is to AT LEAST wait until you've been together for a year (or two... or three...), to make sure that you are truly committed to each other. Not to mention, the anticipation will make your first time even more special!!
Once you have sex, it's hard to go back to having fun just kissing or whatever... enjoy having FUN with each other! With sex comes a lot of responsibility and a lot of risks. Just remember that a lot of risks still pose from oral sex!
Your virginity is a one time deal. You can only give it away once! There's no rush!
Enjoy your relationship and getting to know each other. Remember, you have the rest of your life to have sex! Do it when it feels right.
Good luck, sweetness!
xxIndia
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2007): if you were ready, i dont think you'd be asking us this..
firstly just be careful
but secondly from where im standing, almost everyone i know regrets their first time a bit or wishes it could have been a bit different.
make it special with candles and shizz, is my best advice, if and when you choose to.
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A
female
reader, YummyMummy +, writes (12 August 2007):
 You will know in your self if your ready or not. Nerves about the first time are perfectly normal, but if there is any doubt then please tell your boyfriend you don't feel ready just yet. It's best to wait until you are sure you are ready. :)
xxxxxxxxxxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2007): Sex, at its best, is something that happens in the heat of the moment between two people who are very attracted to each other, may or may not be in love, who just can't help but want to tear each other's clothes off and have sexual pleasure.I don't see this being the case with you. It sounds like you are seeing it more as an act of bravery filled with ambivalence than as an act that just flows and feels totally natural. So your experience might be similar to deciding whether or not to jump out of a plane. Either don't do it. Or, just do it. And if that is how you feel about it, then maybe you are NOT READY.
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A
female
reader, skye +, writes (12 August 2007):
 You will just know. You have a very understanding boyfriend who obviously cares for you and puts you first. You are very lucky. If things arent right, you will hear "alarm bells" in your head and will want to stop. When they are right things will continue and you will get swept up in the moment.
Best wishes,
Skye
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