A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Im stuck in a hopeless 'relationship' with no way out and its making me feel so down.A few months ago i met a guy, we were chatting on the internet and decided to meet. After our first date though he text me and said he doesnt want a relationship, but really wants to see me and stuff. At first i accepted this because i liked him and thought i could change his mind. We met up again and things went further and we had sex. But aside from the sex we had a really great time together. When i left that night though i decided that maybe i liked him too much and that pursuing this would only cause me heartache.I tried to break it off with him but he wouldnt accept it. He said i mean too much to him and that he wouldnt let me go.I took this as a sign of affection and i carried on the same with him. We would see each other once a week (he lives 20 miles away so we cant see each other that often) and he would text me everyday all the time.As time went by i realised my feelings were getting too much again and i told him i couldnt carry on because i was getting really deep feelings. He said he understood if i didnt want to sleep together anymore but he wanted to be friends. We agreed on this, but his idea of being friends was still texting me all day and getting jealous if anyone made advances on me. This was just confusing me. He didnt want to be with me, but he didnt want me to be with anyone else. So we went back to being the way we were... but iv still got these feelings. I dont understand why he doesnt want a relationship. he says hes got other things he wants to do like join the marines and be with his friends. He just got out of a relationship 4 months before we met.Recently we just argue all the time and i can tell things have changed. He doesnt text me as much, and more so i can see hes started to text other girls when he would usually text me. We havent seen each other for 2 weeks now. Also anytime we see each other its always instigated by me.I feel like im stuck in this horrible situation of unrequited love. He says he likes me alot but i can tell he doesnt feel the same way. He outwardly flirts with other girls in front of me, and on his 'myspace' profile i can see hes been seeking out local girls to talk to. Yet when i try to break it off with him he wont leave me alone and so i fall back into his trap. Iv tried to ignore him but he is so persistant i cave in after about a day.This situation is bringing me down and making me feel like his fool and i hate that. Please tell me some truths and tell me how i can get out of this! I wish id never met this man.
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female
reader, Fairy_Lu +, writes (10 December 2007):
 Ok you want out he is driving you barmy and breaking it off makes him become obsessive, so change your email address myspace and your number its extreme yeah but sometimes you just got to make a clean break, or if that isnt a good idea tell him your seeing someone and see what happens, he wants you and everyone else but it doesnt work the same for you this is not a good situation to be i cut him out of your life completely
A
male
reader, Somethingeasy  +, writes (10 December 2007):
 Your being played. Just block him on myspace and change our phone number. If anyone ask why, just tell them you have a stalker.
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A
male
reader, Tony-7 +, writes (10 December 2007):
Before you can even make any big choices you would have to honestly, look into the mirror and ask yourself do you truly love this person or truly have a strong connection with them. I've seen woman in similar situations as the one your in and ruin their lives over one person who they think they have feelings for. If I were you I would just let it go completely. Don't ignore them if they text or call just let them know you are moving on. For someone to get jealous and keep you from being with anyone else is basically keeping you from being happy. If you truly want to deal with someone who will probably cheat on you than go ahead but in my opinion there are plenty of people out there who will appreciate who you are. Your young and you have got your whole life to date and make friends and enjoy yourself, don't even think about it. Just let it go.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2007): Then you are just going to have to try harder!
On some phones its possible to block numbers from calling you so I would do that, and just no matter how many texts he sends don't reply. He sounds a bit of a weirdo, and obviously craves attention even if he isnt bothered about giving it back.
You wont get away from it if you keep giving in. Thats most probably why he is so persistant - because he knows you will give in after a while.
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A
female
reader, MonDoc  +, writes (10 December 2007):
He's playing games with you... it's that simple. He wants to have his cake & eat it too -- and it comes down to your choice as to whether this will continue or not.
It's all about choices and, although it doesn't feel like it, you are actually holding all the power here.
But the trick is that you MUST make a decision... and you must stick with it. If you say you are "friends", you have to decide to be friends and accept that that's it, but ask yourself, would you put up with this kind of treatment from a friend if that friend were a girl? What I mean by this is that he is being so disrespectful of your feelings & downright nasty, knowing that you feel for him, and he's stringing you along & then continually kicking you down - would you put up with that from a girl friend? Probably not. He's NOT a friend, and he's certainly not a boyfriend. Make the choice to take this toxic person out of your life.
It WILL be hard to start with, but think of it like you've stepped on a rusty nail --- you can either get the tetanus shot, which is initially a little painful, or you can forego that initial pain & end up with tetanus, which ends up being much, much worse in the long run! You've romantically stepped on the rusty nail. The tetanus shot is severing all contact now & you WILL heal in the long run, OR you can carry on the way you are & you'll find that you'll probably get in deeper & deeper & he'll eventually break your heart a lot more later on.
Good luck.
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