A
male
age
41-50,
*ficanhelpifnothelpme
writes:how can i stop this?hi my girlfriend and her mum keep giving money to there brother / son. he's got a good job makes 1800 a month driving for the same company as me. but he keeps asking for money and saying " dont tell my wife " i think hes having an affair on is wife which can i say she is so good looking but the problem i've notice is shes got no breasts and hes a big breasts man. so i think he could buy is secret girlfriend gifts or buying condoms.i know he smokes only at work and its a big secret cant tell no one not even my girlfriend or is mom hes not much older than me im 29 hes 32 but every week he keeps asking for 10 quid every week. 10 of my girlfriend then 2 days later 10 of is own mum (which is on sick and cant even afford her rent) and i've got to ask myself why?how can i get my girlfriend to stop giving him money wen she struggles like mad to keep nappies and food on the table for our kids? she tells me its her money and she can do whatever she wants with the money and we have had a few fights but fighting with my parnter or talking to her is pointless.any help would be great thanks
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female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (4 November 2011):
 I don't think it makes him a cheater, neither him being good looking or prefering big boobs. Or even "mooching" money of his sister and mother.
You CAN tell your wife that he makes as much as you do, so she really doesn't need to give him extra money, however, I would guess that would be up to her.
As for his mom, well I think he is an asshat for taking money of her, if she can't afford it, but again, you can't really stop her from wanting to giver her son whatever he "needs".
He seems to be finacially irresponsible.
A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (4 November 2011):
 Unfortunately, you can't MAKE your girlfriend or her mother stop giving $$ to their own flesh and blood.
As far as the alleged cheating goes you have no proof, so it's best that you mind your own business.
Your girlfriend is right it's her money and she can do whatever she wants with it. As long as you both have jobs then you two should both be supporting your own children. If you're that worried about the money and supporting your children then get a separate joint back account that you put money in for the children ONLY. Discuss an amount you will put in from each paycheck. That will take care of the issue of her struggling to support her children.
As far as the brother goes, I'd stay out of her family business.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2011): 1. It's her money so she has the right to do whatever she wants.
2. You don't know what her brother is doing with the money he borrows. This is pure speculation on your part. For all you know, he could be secretly saving up to buy his wife an a big birthday present that's why he says don't tell his wife.
It's none of your business.
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