A
male
age
30-35,
*kiggy
writes:hi, my name is dan, i'm 16,i'm gay, i haven't come out of the closet yet and i keep my feelings bottled up inside and it hurts.i have two questions, first one i'm in love with this guy who lives about 70 miles away and i've bin in love wid him for a year or so and i can't stop thinking about him, and i know he's gay but i'm not sure he feels the same way about me, what do i do coz it is taking over my life and eating me up inside,2, i want to come out of the closet but i'm scared about what people at school might do to me, and how they will react, what do i do,any help would be great thanks all Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2008): I came out of the closet when I was 16. The only thing you need in this life is confidence. Who cares what people say about you? I think I am the coolest mother fucker in the world, so why I do care about what people say about me? They suck....
Everyone loves a confident guy, and if you and the boy you are so madly attracted to doesn't work out, thats alright too.
The first boy I was in love with was a pastors son. He was the only thing I could think about for the whole year. Every time the phone rang I had a small rush of hope that it was him. So eventually I called him and told him how I felt, and he was very nice about it but told me he just isn't that way. But the thing is at least I tried, and the heaviness that caused me was relieved and I moved on. I have loved many times since then, but still haven't found Mr. Perfect.
But thats O.K.
Oh and about your parents, if they cant love you and stick by you because your gay then you deserve new parents. The one thing this country needs is unconditional love, and you should at least be able to expect that from ones own blood.
A
male
reader, lboy +, writes (28 March 2008):
 dear reader,
your thinkin too hard about this lol im 15 and i came out at school 2 years ago and yeh at first you get a bit f bullying but thats expected but just think your about to leave anyway and your true friend will stand by you, i would advice waitin a bit longer before breakin the news to your parents ok but sure at school no problme because after a while of taunting they will relize that the insults and jabs just don't work anymore because they are true lol. and as for the guy i say be better friends try and spend more time with him and get to know him better so that you two get close and then eventually you will know if you truly love him and will be ok about telling how you feel, and if he feels the same way then great for you and hope you two are happy but if not then just continue to be friends and try to move on to other people you never know in time his feelings might change, well thats as much as i have to say hope i helped. write me back if you want to ok xxx.
good luck
lboy
xxx
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (27 March 2008):
 Hi, I hope things go well with your friend! I want to give you a link to a website that has lots of info for you. There's even a section for teens.
It is www.gaylife.about.com
Good luck with everything!
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A
male
reader, Skiggy +, writes (26 March 2008):
Skiggy is verified as being by the original poster of the question thanks to you all that hav helped me X
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A
female
reader, Jmo +, writes (26 March 2008):
 Maybe you could come out to this guy first. You don't have to tell him you have feelings for him, but obviously he has gone through a similar situation himself at some point in time. This way, you'll have someone to talk to about this and eventually the subject of your feelings for him can be brought up more naturally. I think it's kind of win-win?
I wish you the best.
-Jmo
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A
female
reader, Fairy_Lu +, writes (26 March 2008):
 Well im not gay myself but my brother is so i would just do what he did, first tell your family thats the hardest part, then tell your friends just the close friends nobody else needs to know its nobody elses buisiness besides you only have a few months or a year left at school before you go on to colllege or whatever your doing and the older you are the more people accept it, its harder at school because it makes you an easy target for bullieslets face it some people need any excuse to make other peoples lives misery.
And as for this guy he lives 70 miles away which means you text him or email him yeh? You wanna know how he feels and you wanna tell him how you feel send him an email atleast that way if he doesnt feel the same he can ignore it and nothing changes between you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2008): Honey, I say you go for it with this guy. It's obviously not a passing crush, you've been in love with him for a year, so whats stopping you? There's times in life where you just have to take the plunge and go for what you feel. There's no other way to find out if he likes you, other than asking him outright if he'd maybe like to meet up sometime. Then take things from there :] You sound like a great guy (shame you're gay haha nahh kidding lol) so I'm sure he'd give you a shot.
And to your second question.. You know, I'm not sure about this. I can imagine it hurts to hide it from people, having to pretend you're something you're not. But as you say, opening up about it isnt gonna be easy.. To be honest, I think you'd be best leaving it with the people at shcool. Your family, yes, because they'd never hurt you or abandon you. But at school, people can be so horrible and thoughtless, so maybe its best if you just leave it for a little while longer. You're 16, so I presume you're leaving pretty soon anyways? Soon you'll be out of the grasp of possible bullies, and you can be as open with it as you like.
It's nothing to be ashamed of - its just the way people these days sometimes take it. I don't understand why.. I'm just trying to think of what's better for you in the long run..
But whatever you choose to do, good luck :] really.
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