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How can I tell my bf that I cheated on him...again?

Tagged as: Cheating, Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 January 2007) 7 Answers - (Newest, 13 January 2007)
A female age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Before the new year came in I succumbed to kissing a guy I found attractive. It was not intention at all.

Since then I told my boyfriend of two years he was obviously upset because at parties when he is there I am always giving this guy attention.

I suppose I am frustrated that we cant move in and this guy is being flirty and i liked it.

My boyfriend wanted some space to sort his mind out.

He was cheated on before with someone not as close as we were. She slept with someone. Nice I know.

Over the week where we couldn't really speak I went for a girly night at a friend's who wants to have a boyfriend.

We had a few drinks went out.

She got really drunk like me and found someone but I had to talk to his friend.

Somehow I kissed the aussie barman and was left in their company and the friend of the one who my friend was gettin it on with and a friend of the barman.

She called a taxi- had no time to think- she was gone left with no taxi money went back with hime. Had a one night stand.

Feel devasted away from my boyf for a week and lost it.

I love him but I have a conscious. How can i tell him?

View related questions: drunk, flirt, kissing, money, one night stand

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2007):

right u have to tell him these no nice way of going about it, just say it!

In terms of you, i think your a complete waste of space, you say you feel guilty...but by reading that it seems like u dont give a sh*t. You cant go one week b4 u end up cheating...wtf?!! how are u ever going to have a long term relationship! Suprisingly im starting to feel more sorry for YOU than i do for him!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2007):

i like the fact that when your talking about his previous partner sleeping with someone you give a judgemental ''nice i know''.

yet your reason for posting is to admit youve commited the same horrible act. you have no right to judge anybody as youve joined the same group of low liers who cheat.

tell him the whole truth, you'll brake his heat but he deserves to know everything if your going to brake his heart he at least deserves to know why.

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A female reader, AngelofLove United Kingdom +, writes (9 January 2007):

AngelofLove agony auntYou are not ready to have a relationship, at least with your current boyfriend.

You may feel that you love him, perhaps you love the fact you have a boyfriend but it is not real love, otherwise youj would not "touch others".

Being drunk does not make a difference. I think you have to enjoy life a bit longer as a single person. This way you can kiss and sleep with who you want.

You need to be honest with your boyfriend and break it off.

I feel for him, he will ended in a state and paranoid and it was not his fault. If you do not want to tell him about your infidelity, don't tell him but if you really care for this guy, call it a day.

I hope you do the right thing.

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A male reader, maxsteel86 United Kingdom +, writes (8 January 2007):

maxsteel86 agony auntGive the poor guy a break. He deserves someone who wont cheat on him. You've done it twice already in the space of a few weeks, most likely will end up doing it again especially if you ever got drunk. If you really cared for him, wouldn't you want what's best for him? And right now, what's best for him is to be with someone who wont hammer in the image that all women are cheats. Once he starts believing that, his life would seriously be screwed up

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2007):

how can you tell her not to tell him? he thinks she just kissed another man and he distraught...now you tell her to keep the ultimate betrayal a secret?

you slept with another man, if you loved your bf that would never have happened.

just be honest with him and hope hes stupid enough to forgive you.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2007):

you say you love him but youve betrayed his trust twice in the space of a few weeks? id love to see what you did if you hate someone!

i suggest you do the humane thing and split up with him befor you do the poor guy any more harm

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2007):

If you really want to make this realtionship work then you cant tell him!, if he has gone off the think about whether he wishes to stay in this relationship, can you imagine how he will feel if you tell him you did it again, But this time you slept with the man?!!, there would be no chance of staying together.

I really dont think its a good idea to tell him that you have cheated again, kissing is one thing but having sex with a stranger is exceptionally bad!.

I think that you need to wait and see what he decides to do, if he decides to stay with you then think yourself damned lucky for getting away with it and carry on the relationship with as much normality as you can.

You really should be ashamed of yourself, but everyone makes mistakes so your gonna have to learn to live with your guilt, think of it as a punishment for doing the dirty deed in the first place!!.

I know the other Aunts wont agree with me, but we have all done things that we arent proud of, as long as you learn from your mistakes then there shouldnt be a need to destroy your life over mistakes.

So whatever happens good luck, and keep control of yourself.

xx

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