A
male
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes: I am 15 and have been masturbating for maybe around a year and I ve really been trying to give it up. I feel really guilty and stressed and I wanna tell my dad but I feel like it would really change how he sees me, since we re pretty much bros I don t want to ruin our relationship. I know this might sound childish, but my dad is Chinese so I'm not sure if he will even know what masturbation is. I seriously need to get this off my chest, I even have trouble sleeping. Please help. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2015): Look young man, you don't need to tell dad or anyone else about it. Every healthy boy and man masturbates. Even men in their seventies masturbate. Contrary to popular believe, the doctors say, in fact masturbation is good for health from many aspects. In fact you should worry and even complain to your father if you were not having the urge to masturbate.
A
male
reader, Been there Now over it +, writes (28 December 2015):
While they rarely talk about it, every guy your age masturbates. It is a necessity for males. Perhaps more important than eating. This is why God put both your hands where they are and not near your mouth.
Ask yourself why and how you came to think it is bad. Then, think about the information source and the reasoning behind your beliefs that masturbation is bad. Does it really make good sense?
I grew up in the Catholic church and we were warned that masturbation is a sin. I just couldn't figure out a good reason to quit other than "someone said...". You aren't hurting anyone, you don't risk a pregnancy or getting a disease, and it feels good.
If my teenage son came to me and said he quit masturbating a month ago, I'd think there was a bad problem there.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (28 December 2015):
 Sexuality is private. There is no need to discuss it with your dad. Nearly 100% of humans and even some animals masturbate. It's totally normal and natural.
Babies in the womb have been seen doing it.
You are 100% normal and natural and there is no need to "get it off your chest" or admit to something like this.
IF it interferes with school work or going out with friends or family then you are doing it too much but at your age I would say 1-3 times a day is not abnormal.
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A
male
reader, Garbo +, writes (28 December 2015):
 There is no need to tell anyone that you masturbate. What you do privately is your own business. Nor will you gain anything by telling your dad. Pretty much everyone, women included, knows that young boys masturbate, so there is no new news there. As for the act itself, if it bothers you mentally, then don't do it. It may take some time to get a grip on your urges but if you persist you will succeed.
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A
female
reader, Songwr1ter  +, writes (28 December 2015):
I agree with the other agony aunt, everybody does it. I know of a lot of people that do it, but it doesn't change who you are! It's just our hormones, playing silly games!
And you shouldn't be afraid to tall your dad, because he is your dad. He'll love you, no matter what, that, I can assure you. He's not going to judge you, you are his child.
And I think he probably will know what it is, because he's probably been through it. I think, at your age, your father should be expecting you to need someone to talk to about these hormonal issues.
So stop worrying too much!! It'll be okay!:)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2015): Hi there :)Ok, this is gonna be akward but, I'm a girl... 16. To tell you the truth, I also masturbate. I also feel guilty sometimes, but it's actually natural. I see it as relieving your body of the "sexual stress". I never talked to anyone about it before. Not even my parents because I know they're gonna kill me if they find out. I know this my not be the right thing to say cause you're already in a tough situation now... but that's my story. If I can help, teenager to teenager, I would say don't say anything! To make you feel less "guilty" here is a very true fact: almost everybody masturbates! It's called loving yourself... or as I said before you're just helping yourself becoming relieved of that "stress". I don't exactly know what your father's culture was because he's Chinese, so I can see your point, another reason not to tell him. Also because you guys have such a good bond. I'd suggest to go and do a little research on teenagers with this kind of "struggle". That's what I did, and it helped. This is just my side of the story, please correct me if I'm wrong anybody!I hope this helps though, and good luck! :)
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A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (28 December 2015):
 Stop worrying is the first tip. Everyone, give or take a few asexual types, does it. At your age your hormones are going crazy and, having a 'J Arthur' (Cockney rhyming slang) is a natural and healthy release.
But why would you want to talk to your dad about it? He won't be talking to you about his bedroom behaviour. I know - it's gross to think what your parents might have done or still be doing. Your mum and dad should be quietly accepting that you are going through a stage in life. They will have experienced the same.
Finally if you get sore you know you are doing it too much so back off a bit. This is all part of your growing up. It's natural and normal.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2015): I wouldnt worry about this too much...its natures way of trying to prepare you for your future as an adult.Its not something to stress over and it surpasses cultural boundaries unless you are planning on becoming a monk ..then i believe they destroy the ability to have an erection but i woulndt recommend this as an option.For now you may as well resign yourself to being a mere mortal and as nature sends your hormones into overdrive you can do what you see as fit for purpose that doesnt get anyone pregnant or damaged.It really is an unimportant matter and not one you need to stress about at all.Talking to your dad is the challenge, but maybe as this is such a private matter you could start with a less generational topic or he might recommend cold showers and joining the army.If you and dad already have challenges in your relationship its best to start with a simple reminiscence topic like "how did you manage your sex drive before you met mum."He may be from the old school and hold up his hand and admitt he has little green men running all over his palm .or he may reminisce about how he waited weeks to hold her hands and years to get a ring on her finger.
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