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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: A few days I slept with my boyfriend for the first time. We had sex five times throughout the evening and morning. I am not a virgin, but have not had sex in just over a year. (He was a virgin.) My first lover was rather small. But when I lost my virginity I was still in a lot of pain and could not even walk correctly after. By the third time, though, I loved it. We had sex nearly three times a day. I had sex with another guy, and he was probably about average size. I never had any discomfort.With my current lover, the pain seemed even worse than when I first lost my virginity. (He is well-endowed.) all of the times we had it, I was in a lot of pain. After that, when I went home hours later, it still hurt. It felt like he was pulling me open when we had sex. Will it get better? When?Additional Information: we tried several different positions. After it was inside for about five minutes it hurt slightly less (still caused discomfort, though) but as soon as he pulled fully out and tried to re-enter, it hurt again.
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female
reader, person12345  +, writes (24 February 2011):
 It should get easier. You need a lot more foreplay if he's bigger than normal, unfortunately. And you should definitely invest in lube. Good lube. Not the really gross sticky cheap kind. Wetness isn't everything though, you also need to get looser. As you get turned on things expand a LOT. It might help if during foreplay, you have him work his way up to inserting three fingers while pleasuring you, to make sure you're relaxed/loose enough.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question You mean it won't get any easier? I think I was pretty wet.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (24 February 2011):
Sex should never hurt. It sounds like you're not turned on enough. You should be extremely turned on, especially with a well-endowed partner before you even attempt penetration. Make sure you're spending plenty of time on the foreplay (I heard somewhere it takes a woman between 15 and 20 minutes of foreplay on average to get ready). You should be able to comfortably (not forcing, but completely comfortably) slide two fingers in when you're turned on. Also a good lubricant would be a good idea.
If it starts to hurt, don't let him keep going to point where "It felt like he was pulling me open." Stop having sex until you're turned on enough! Sex isn't something you do for your partner, you're not supposed to grin and bear it, it's supposed to be pleasurable for both of you. If it hurts, don't just keep going for his sake, stop and do some more foreplay!
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