A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I think my girlfriend is cheating on me. She's very private when it comes to her emails, text messages and phone calls. She was never so secretive before with any of that. Recently I "went down" on her and smelled and tasted latex faintly. Since it was later in the day I figured it was the taste of sweat. Please help me sort this out. She's the best- smart, sexy, funny and gets along great with the family. Any advice you can give me will really help and I certainly don't want to make the wrong or bad decision. Is there anyway to know for sure if she is stepping out?
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male
reader, person thats helps  +, writes (27 November 2008):
Dude well lets me tell u that i have a gf and i understands whats going on u love her all your might a u wanna b with her forever well dude sometimes those r just fairy tales k but dude if shes like that ask her is she depress or whats wrond then if she dont answers well say its ok and well if she is cheating on u well let her go man just do it if u love her let her go i know it may be thought but that means u got balls and guts to show that u love her whatecer happens u will still love her.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2008): what if she does put up a argument but says its not because of what she has on her phone but says that you dont trust her?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2008): Man I am in a similiar circumstance, and I know how that eats you up inside not knowing what to believe. And it can be very diruptive as you spend most of your time just thinking about what she's doing right now, who she's creeping with. I know all you wanna do is find out the truth so you can make your final and true decision, I can also assume that your currently in phase where you're eighter ready to let go or make peace and move on with the relationship. My advice for you would be to think back to how you were before you met her you were surviving, right!!! Now try and get unatached from her since your realy emotionally attached to this person. Never give all in a relationship hold back some of your emotions till your ready and that should take about at least 3 years. Sharp, hope this helps and believe me I know how you feel.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2008): listen my friend just because you ve bin with her for ages or she gets on wiv the family etc. does not mean she has the right to hurt you or for you to let her hurt you... u canrt be in a relationship wivout trust, address the problem asap and if she says she is not cheatin and your still not satisfied then look deep down in your heart and see wether u believe her and wether you want to still be with someone you cannot trust..
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2008): listen my friend just because you ve bin with her for ages or she gets on wiv the family etc. does not mean she has the right to hurt you or for you to let her hurt you... u canrt be in a relationship wivout trust, address the problem asap and if she says she is not cheatin and your still not satisfied then look deep down in your heart and see wether u believe her and wether you want to still be with someone you cannot trust..
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A
female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (26 June 2007):
 You have to do what YOU think is right and go with your gut feeling on this one. You could make one last attempt at asking her and if she's nothing to hide then ask her to let you read her text messages. Give her YOUR phone and tell her she can look through it at whatever she wants as you have nothing to hide. If she gives you her phone then you can check it, if she refuses then the alarm bells go off again. Do the same with her emails, if she has nothing to hide then ask her to let you see them. Tell her that this is a one off for you, you just need her to PROVE to you that nothing is going on as "her word" here is not enough for you.
She may put her foot down and tell you that you STILL can't see them. Now, if she loved you enough and didn't want to lose you then logic tell you that she would do anything to keep you and showing you her emails and cell phone should be easy for her to do right..? IF she has nothing to hide! However if she DOES put up an argument then I would say she does have something to hide and she may well be cheating on you. It's up to you to decide your next move after you ask her.
Let me know how it goes hun okay? I'm here for you if you want to talk some more.
Eve
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you for your responses. i have tried asking, she denies it totally says i'm making it up. we've dated for a year now and went through a bad breakup and recovered. i hate thinking a possibility is that she's stepping out with my best friend. i've confronted both of them and still cant believe either of their sides. should i just leave her because i know i'm not making her happy feeling like this all the time.?
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (25 June 2007):
Ask her casually then watch her eyes. Explain to her that she's never usually as secretive with her phone calls, texts and emails. Other things to ask yourself are - Is she still as keen on you as she was when you first met? Are you still intimate on a regular basis? Do you still spend quality time together? Are you still communicating daily? Is she going out with "friends" more? Does she break dates with you giving excuses why she can't make it? All these are signs that something is wrong.
Eve
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A
female
reader, floraltemptaions  +, writes (25 June 2007):
Why dont you ask her? Just a silly answer I guess, but if you feel that she is acting weird with her phone calls/emails etc, why not ask her why she's being to secretive and see what she says?! Usually the truth comes out in the wash.
Best of luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2007): Just ask. Even if she's a great liar, there are always silent clues.... a shift in her stance, a facial expression.... and go with your gut. If you love her and can live by her word, then you have to let your suspisions go. If you can't take her word for it, then you have to let her go.
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