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female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I'm a young woman who has committed the cardinal sin of cheating. When my boyfriend and I broke up over a year ago, I had a fling with a man from work. Once we got back together, moved back in together, I slept with this man again. I was guilt ridden and horrified with my own actions, and severed all contact with this man who no longer works with me. Now, contact has been re-established with this man, and in times of turmoil, I find myself wanting to seek solice in him, and rebelling against my current relationship by cheating. Am I just a big slut, or do I like this other guy, or should I wrap it up with him and focus on my current relationship? We are currently engaged and wedding plans are in the works, and I really can't imagine spending my life with anyone else... but this other guy... there's just something there that keeps me so intriuged... help!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2007): OK, so I wrote this question, and both answers are right on in their own way... to the first responder, Eve, I just want to say you are absolutely right when you say I am just an easy lay for him, and sadly, I know this. Also, it was very ironic that the second responder, Sweet-thing, knew the kind of man I was talking about. Here's the kicker, though... my current BF and this man are that same kind of bad boy... seemingly untamable, except under the right circumstances, makes your heart pound... but my current has become slightly inflexible and mean, and this other guy is absolutely looking for a no strings thing, and seeing as where I'm in a position where that's all that's possible, he's absolutely just taking advantage of the situation. The other day, I called him and told him that I was taking this "arraingement" to a place it shouldnt go and that I was all done with it, and deleted his number from my phone. Just wanted to let you guys know that your advice helped, and I'm going to take a good hard look at my current situation and hopefully I will make a good decision, so thanks.
A
female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (25 June 2007):
 Can I say firstly, you are NOT ready to settle down with your current partner or with anyone yet. You may be taking your partner for granted, you know you have him and although you get along there is something missing. This other man is just playing you, you're an "easy" lay for him. I'm sorry to be so blunt but that's the way he sees you. He shouts, you jump! He's probably full of charisma and charm but you know he wants a "no strings attached" relationship with you. Do you think so little of yourself to just give yourself like this to this guy?
I would take a long hard look at yourself, think about what you're doing, think about what your jeapordising with your current partner. Is your current partner so boring that you want to jump to this other guys shouts? The next time this guy asks you to "jump", tell HIM to go take a running jump himself! Either that or finish it with your partner first before chasing after this romeo.
Eve
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A
female
reader, Sweet-thing +, writes (25 June 2007):
 Some women are caught in the trap of wanting to settle down with a man who is good for them (and good to them)while also wanting the kind of man that makes their hearts pound!! And I've found that these two qualities rarely exist in the same man. Women are inherently attracted to bad boys -- not the kind of "bad" who will beat you silly, and drain your bank account, but the kind that seems like a wild Mustang, not entirely tamable, yet give us the illusion that we might actually tame them given the right circumstances. (I suspect the man you used to work with fits this description on some level). Many a woman has married a man who they know will be a great husband, and father only to find themselves bored and restless later. It took me years to figure this out about myself. If you're attracted to men who are a little wild and spontaneous, by all means, don't marry someone who's comfortable and secure. Perhaps the best advise I can give you is to postpone the wedding and figure out who you are before you commit to either of them. Good luck.
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