A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So I got with this guy at the start of freshers week in September, he's a friend of my housemate, he doesn't remember it and I don't remember much. Anyway my other housemate who likes to stir things keep on snapchatting photos of me to him so eventually I had to messgae this guy on Facebook to apologise and we just kept talking from then. Eventually I dropped some hints I liked him and he said he wasnt interested in my like that and I thought that was the end of it and we didnt talk for 3 months. Then in February he randomly messages me apologising from before, and asks if we can go for a drink which I agreed to. He then avoids seeing me because of exams and stuff and then one evening the night before a really big competition I was going to he messages me some really random stuff being quite rude about wanting to sleep with me and stuff whilst he was drunk and then didnt talk to me about it for days then explained it was his fault he was drunk and said some stupid things. This happened a couple of other times and eventually I got sick of it and told him that he couldn't keep on telling me he wanted to see me when he was drunk and then changing his mind sober . It turns out that he had never asked me out it had been his friends he just couldn't find the words to tell me. He has made it very clear he likes talking to me a as friend but no more than that, he even told me once when he was drunk he didnt find me attractive. He did apologise he told me he felt awful about it all, he keeps on apologising for it actually. Despite everything I still like him we get on really well as friends we talk all the time but it's annoying me I really like him but he doesn't feel the same back. I don't know how to get over him I've tried not talking to him or seeing someone else nothing works. I'm a mess because of it and it just hurts so much I don't know what to do.
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female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (20 May 2015):
 Being friend with someone you have romantic feelings for is rarely easy and rarely a good thing to do. Because you end up standing on the side lines watching HIM live his life without YOU being a central part of it.
You said you tried to cut the contact, but from what you write that was only for 2-3 months at a time, so maybe make the not chatting PERMANENT.
How did those invitation to go out (that supposedly was his friend not him) end up on his phone? Did his friend borrow the phone and chat with you? If so, STAY away fro that "friend" of his as well. THAT is pretty shady to use someone's phone to try and get a date.
I'd take a bit of break from dating. Sort yourself out. You are clearly disappointed (rejection is never fun) but AT LEAST you know where you STAND with this guy. He is NOT into you and holding out hope that he WILL be in the future is well, futile.
So hang out with friends, see family, spend time on your studies and forget about this guy. HE wasn't it.
Sometimes we fall for people who are not interested (crush) sometimes we fall for people who are a horrible match. But PINING after a guy who isn't interested... now that... is a huge big WASTE of your time.
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