A
female
age
36-40,
*ustme2013
writes:How can we get along?Me and my daughters dad HATE eachother we can not have a conversation with out cursing and drama and its interfering with our co parenting we tried the only talking about our child but it always lead to the arguing and disrespect let me give u some history I was with him down and out for 5 yrs he finally got a little money and left us for a girl he only knew for 3months moved her and her kids in and left me and my child at my moms to suffer and make away on our own so you can see why I hate him idk why he hates me and that's the honest truth but besides all the drama I eventually want to get along I know it won't happen tomorrow but maybe down the line we can be friends for the sake of our child how can we do that? I tried the calm I don't want to fuss lets just sit down and talk and be adults thing he still argued smh it seems hopeless and I can't do this forever please give me tips on what I can do on my end for us to get along sorry about the lack of puncuations
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female
reader, ladylike26  +, writes (8 April 2013):
First of all: the child is the most important and i respect you so much for trying to put everything aside for the sake of the child.
My advice is: Go to mediation, keep all paperwork, keep all records for the sake of your child, so it cannot be used agains you later on in the chil;d life because you will have proof for her/him. You cannot aim for being friends with him. You can aim for being civil towards each other but friends? Noo need for that.
Everything takes two. Just make sure you explain everything to your child, without slagging the dad off.
I would initiate a third party invilvment and communicate through a solicitor or some kind of authority.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2013): "what I can do on my end for us to get along"Nothing. Agree with sageoldguy, at this point all your communication needs to be through third parties for your child's sake and it needs to be that way until the two of you are sufficiently mature to truly put your shared child's best interests above your own self-absorbed petty juvenile bickering, an unlikely occurrence any time before your daughter's 40th birthday as things stand. Given that you devoted previous posts to obsessing about you could win baby daddy back from the other woman, I'm guessing that your "hatred" stems from his steadfast refusal to see that you should be the one sharing his bed, not that two-bit ho he dumped you for.http://www.dearcupid.org/question/what-should-i-do-about-this-baby-dad.htmlhttp://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-want-my-babys-daddy-back-but-he.html
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A
female
reader, Caring Aunty A  +, writes (8 April 2013):
 Consistency, perseverance and commitment are the answer. Plus you’ll have to compartmentalise your hatred as it’s what draws you into arguing with him. Doesn’t matter who starts; you just respond and finish it in a respectful manner. Otherwise you’re showing you’re really no better the he is!?
TIPS: For your consideration
- Don’t add fuel to the fire; you can’t extinguish a foolish persons thinking
- Set the time to discuss issues; 15 30 minutes according to his ability to hold a respectful conversation.
- Be straightforward with your requests, give him time to digest and respond – don’t interrupt!
- Keep control of the subject; if either digresses from the subject, take a deep breathe and re-focus.
Take Care - CAA
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (8 April 2013):
 If you and he are unable to engage in civil conversation, then you must simply get an intermediary pass "conversation" between the two of you....
good luck...
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