A
female
age
30-35,
*tsunmama
writes:ok this is hard...im a 14 year old girl...and i have a 25 year old boyfriend...i know he loves me very much...we have promised eachother that we will wait for sex till im 18..and till then we act like normal people...except till we talk on the cpu...we say i love you, i want to be with you...and that sorta stuff...i dont think its a problem..but some people say it is horrible and it is wrong....but i just have this thing for him..a crazy feeling :) 3i need some help....
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female
reader, Htsunmama +, writes (17 June 2010):
Htsunmama is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTy... It's been over a year and im still with him and crazy in love:). Crazyy right?!?! I'm very happy with him
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2008): Well you have now put my mind at rest, if your parents know and agree about this. Remember however, you are 14, don't grow up before your time, and make sure you continue to do all the things that other girls your age are doing. If you and him only talk, and there is no sex involved, then I can't see the harm of you and him being in love. Just be careful and continue to be sensible with all of this. I want you to have a good childhood, and if he's a good man like you say, he will want the same things that I want for you as well.. Take care babes, and please keep in touch with us aunts and uncles here at Dear Cupid. We wish you all the best things in life. Take care, and blessings to both of you.
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female
reader, Htsunmama +, writes (30 November 2008):
Htsunmama is verified as being by the original poster of the questionmy parents know... he talked to them told the the issue and they where worried at first....but they though about it...and they know he is a good guy, so they ARE watching us..and yes he has only had 1 girlfriend in his life and he was going to merry her...then she left him... he has a 14 year old brother....and i asked him if he would mind his brother dateing a 25 year old woman and he said "i would like to get to know her so i know she is ok for him...but its not like i can really tell him he cant because look at us baby 3"
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2008): Sorry babes, I know you think we are all wrong, and we don't know how you feel. You probably think only you have ever felt this strong love, and you know exactly what you are doing...
We have been 14, we have been in love, we have felt everything you do, and we know how nice the feeling of loving somebody is. But many of us are older. We've seen and done a lot of things, and made a lot of mistakes.
If you were so sure about this guy, you wouldn't be here on Dear Cupid asking for advice. It is very strange for a man so old to be in love with a little girl. Usually these types of relationships are abusive and you could find yourself getting very, very hurt.
We are trying to warn you, for your own safety. Even if you get together when you are 18, you will miss out on so many things that other young girls your age will be doing.
Be careful.. It's ok for you to have him as a friend, but do not meet him alone. Never do anything sexual with him until you are 18. You are still young, you think you will love him forever, you think you and him can be together for the next 30, 40, 50years. But life is long. What you like this year you probably won't like next year.
Be very careful.. There are a lot of sick men out there, and a grown man, who should be getting married, having sex and playing adult games, is very strange if he prefers to hang out with little kids and fall in love with somebody who is too young to have sex. Be careful, that's all we can say.
PS: If this guy is good and decent, then tell your parents about him, and make sure he speaks to them and gets their permission to talk to you. If he loves you, this will be a way to prove to us, them and you, that he is serious about the things he says to you.
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female
reader, Gypsii +, writes (28 November 2008):
By the time that you're 18, he'll be almost 30. Do you really believe that a 25 year old man is going to wait 4 years to have sex? Do you know any normal, healthy 25 year old guy who can wait that long to have sex? Be honest.
I don't want to talk to you as if you're completely naive or stupid because you seem relatively mature. However, every teenage girl fantasizes about meeting that amazingly perfect guy who truly loves only her. The guy who is so wonderfully sweet and considerate that he'll sacrifice any and everything to be with her. The reality is that you're one of the many girls who is hooked on a fantasy. The guy that you're dealing with is into you because you're a teenager. That is, he has a teen fetish and he's reeling you in.
If you don't believe that it's true, ask him about his former girlfriends (how old were they, how long did the relationships last, did he consider marriage, children, etc..). Ask him about his friends...who are they and what do they do? Ask him about his social life. And, ask him if he would approve, for example, of his own 14 year old sibling, niece, or potential daughter dating a 25 year old man? If he says yes, that will confirm for you that he will only say what you want to hear.
Last, tell him that when you're 18 you want to marry and then have sex. Tell him that there will be absolutely no sex before marriage and see what he says. I suspect that this guy is dangerous in many ways to you and that you're too emotional and actually too inexperienced to understand the games that some men will play with women...and girls.
Be careful!
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female
reader, Htsunmama +, writes (27 November 2008):
Htsunmama is verified as being by the original poster of the questionok so yah :) me and him are fine....we are waiting till im 18 we still talk and stuff :) we always will ... he isnt some perv who looks for little kids he is sweet and kind...he understands that im still a teen and i need some air everynow and then... he dosnt pressure me abotu anything...he is there when somthing is wrong and he is there when i just wana say "hey whats up!3 u!"anyways he is special to me... we arnt doing anything wrong...never have dont anything and wont till im about 19 or merried to HIM!! :) my heart will always be his forever and ever :)oh yah and the butterflys are amazing..he says the prettiest words :) like a song :)im his girlhis lovehis sweethearthis dream 3
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2008): Hi, i think i know how you feel. I'm 14 too and I started talking to this man i met over the internet. We had been chatting for months and i fell totally in love with him. He then confessed to me that he wasn't 17 (as i originally thought) he was actually 24. But by that time i was so totally in love with him that i didn't care how old he was. We had casually met a few times before (before i fell in love) and he appeared a nice guy. I too had told him that i wanted to wait until i was married to have sex, and he agreed. One day he invited he over his apartment to watch a movie, and i stupidly agreed. Anyway... he tried to rape me.
The moral of this story: all guys that like young girl are perverts. Ignore your feelings they are confused and naive. I am scared for life, do not let this happen to you! I'm serious, dump him!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2008): Unfortunately, it won't last, since you've prematurely awoken love. Either you will drift apart, or you will commit the taboo (adult-minor sex), which will land your boyfriend in jail. Either way, the relationship will end. It is better to end it now, before there is heartbreak.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2008): Hi Htsunmama,
It's not that some people think it's wrong, ALL PEOPLE in your country know that this is very,very wrong and your boyfriend is sick... I hope you took a look at the link that was given before... Stay away from him, otherwise you will live to regret it.
Read this... http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-got-her-pregnant-at-14.html
He is lying to you, he is a sick pervert who likes to have sex with little girls.
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female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (1 September 2008):
I'm sorry to tell you this but I am 25 and I see 14 yearolds and they are like children, they are in a different world. Now you may look older or be more mature, but you even type like a 14 year old so I think the problem lies with him.
If he can't find a woman his own age to be attracted to then there is a problem with him.
If he is happy to wait till you are 18 then go for it, wait and chat online. But if he makes a move before then then he is going to prison.
Good Luck!! xx
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female
reader, lilgirly  +, writes (1 September 2008):
 you are 14 and every girl in your age thinks she is in love and it's very normal and common..but you have to stay away from him.. cause this might be dangerous and he might be taking the chance of playing with your feelings because you're 14.. if he really loves you well he can wait till you're older and could take a much better choice......
good luck and be careful byeXXXX
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2008): People aren't what they claim to be. Be careful and be safe. I agree you should leave this potentally dangerous relationship and if you feel the same way at 18 pick up where you left off.
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male
reader, Straight Up1  +, writes (1 September 2008):
 the attraction part isnt wrong here...younger girls and older guys is pretty normal in life based on attraction.The issue here is YOUR age!! 14 is just far too young...this is a crush and at his age he should know that and not play it up or lead you on..... he is walking the line of illegal and it's just morally wrong!!18 and he is 29 no problem when it gets there.....my last girlfriend was 18 and I was 30... adults are adults.If you get a chance....watch the movie "Beautiful Girls" with Matt Dillon...it will help you see this in a relatable setting!!
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female
reader, °Ale°  +, writes (1 September 2008):
 Look at this-http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-got-her-pregnant-at-14.html
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female
reader, Ah-ha +, writes (1 September 2008):
Hello there, I agree with the other post, he is manipulating you. A 25 year old man who cannot find a woman his own age clearly has issues. You'll have far fewer regrets if you live life with people going through the same things as you are; high school and having fun being a teenager. A 25 year old is at a totally different place in his life. I would know- I'm 23! Most of my friends are around this age and I can honestly say none of us would consider dating a 14 year old, we are well rounded people who simply have more in common with people our own age. If one of my friends brought a 14 year old and introduced him/her as a date, it would be incredibly inappropriate. I can't see any of my friends thinking that would be a normal thing to do. And dating someone older than you doesn't mean you're more mature or special or have an advantage over your friends, it just means the guy your dating is maladjusted. Don't let him take you away from where you are in life; the glorious teenage years! Enjoy them eh?-A
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2008): I know you feel like it's love because you are thinking of him and you have butterflies in your stomache. But you have to trust me when i tell you a 25 year old man has no business falling in love with a 14 year old.i know you think age is just a number and it shouldn't matter, but please understand he is manipulating you into falling for him. He knows you are vunerable because you probably looking for someone to love and someone to love you. Please end this relationship and date guys your age.If it's true love then after you are 18, then you can contact him again and pick up where you left off. However, I do think he is a predator and will have already move on to the next victim.
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