A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My 21st birthday is on Friday. And I know I'm going to have the best sex of my life. I'm probably going to be drunk, but I hope not too drunk where I cant remember it. My problem is, though, I've never had a vaginal orgasm before. My current sex partner, the one I'll be getting my birthday sex from, is the best I ever had. He's well endowed. When we've had sex, I've had feelings of almost urinating during it and I've read that that means I came close to an orgasm. I REALLY want my first vaginal orgasm on my birthday. Any suggestions on positions or advice on how I may be able to achieve one?
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male
reader, JustHelpinAgain  +, writes (15 February 2012):
Well if you are around 20 then from my limited experience you have about 20 years until you have the best sex of ypur life. Until then just relax and stop trying to organise your feelings because they don't happen that way!!! Ps. Whilst waiting get him to lick your clit :) enjoy!!
A
female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (15 February 2012):
 "There is no such thing as a vaginal orgasm."Well then I am a scientific oddity. Because I have vaginal orgasms all the time. I don't think my clit is being stimulated because I orgasm from mouth kisses too.. and yes I've looked it up and this is possible for some women. It's one thing to say most women can't have a vaginal orgasm, it's another thing to say NO woman can. I must say this because I don't want women who orgasm in various ways to start feeling like freaks.The problem I have dear poster, is you've built so much anticipation into this 21st night of passion that no human on earth could make it how you want. What if the guy has a stomach ache that day, what if his penis doesn't come up. What if no matter how he tries your disappointed because it doesn't live up to the fantasy you've built in your mind.Sex shouldn't be undertaken with the kind of pressure your applying. Same as with honeymoon couples, all that build up and often the sex then goes wrong. You've planned everything and just like a kid a Christmas the expected toy is never good enough.Unfortunately you just can't train your body to orgasm to order because it's your birthday. You may be one of the many women who won't have a orgasm through penetrative sex alone and you must accept that. This kind of pressure your putting yourself under actually makes any type of orgasm harder to achieve.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2012): There is Gspot, Cervical, and Clitoral Stimulus, as well as the whole vagina walls being one gigantic nerve ending that aids in pleasure. Enhanced by foreplay of massage- muli orgasms are possible.They can be broken down into, genital orgasms, whole body orgasms, and soul orgasms.Not all women respond to Gspot stimulus though, let alone cervical. For some, the cervical and gspot can be painful.It takes time for the Gspot to be massaged and worked to the point that it will result in squirting orgasms and even then, not all woman have the capacity to do such a thing.I'm going to recommend one of my favourite books to read- The Multi Orgasmic Couple- Secrets Every Couple Should Know by Mantak Chiwa, Maneewan Chiwa, Douglas Abrams, and Rachel Carlton Abrams M.Dhttp://www.harpercollins.com/browseinside/index.aspx?isbn13=9780062516145This book offers great insight in the male and female orgasm and how to enhance a couples sexual intimacy with one another.Should prove helpful. ;)
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (15 February 2012):
 Well I'm sorry to say but first off, you can't. There is no such thing as a vaginal orgasm. The existence of such a thing is a myth created by the misogynist Freud and then debunked numerous times since. There is only a clitoral orgasm, though a small (fewer than 25%) number of women are able to achieve that through penetration. Your vagina has the fewest nerve endings of any body part in your genital region.
I think you're just setting yourself up for disappointment to set a goal like that with a deadline. That sensation of needing to pee doesn't usually mean you're about to orgasm, it means he's hitting your g-spot. And you're certainly not going to be having unbelievable sex if you're drunk. One or two drinks can help, but lots of drinks will just make you feel drunk. Which is a very unsexy feeling. Like insanely not sexy.
I think it's reasonable to want to try for an orgasm during sex at some point, but you shouldn't be setting yourself a deadline and making such final statements about sex on your birthday, that it's going to be the best sex of your life (chances are that it won't) and that you're going to have a vaginal orgasm (again, chances are you won't).
Now, there are ways to make it more likely to happen (though it will take some practice and almost surely won't happen the first time). First, you want to get yourself incredibly close to orgasm before intercourse. Have your boyfriend get you most of the way, then use your fingers to bring yourself RIGHT to the edge, then back off. Do that several times. Then have sex, generally girl on top is easiest because you can fit in a hand. Your boyfriend needs to have good control of himself, have him stop or stop you when he gets close so he can "cool down." During the whole thing you'll want to reach down or have him reach down and rub your clitoris. Some women, if they are already close, find it enough stimulation to just have their guy stick their finger down there, on top of his pubic bone just to have an extra surface to rub on. If you go about this think the penis in and out motion is going to bring you to orgasm, it will never happen. You need to go into this thinking that you will give yourself an orgasm while his penis happens to also be inside you.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (15 February 2012):
 Trust me when I say if you are drunk you will not be having the best sex of your life… you also won’t be having the best sex of your life because you are expecting it to be that. Usually the BEST sex of you life comes when you are not expecting it… the expectation of it usually makes it a let down… just saying…
Good luck finding that elusive ‘vaginal orgasm” I am nearly 52. I have been having sex since I was 14 with more partners than I care to admit… I’ve NEVER had one… only about 25% of all women are able to have enough clitoral stimulation through vaginal sex….
You are so setting yourself up for disappointment sweetie….
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (15 February 2012):
 Don't set a date. It's like when you misplace your sunglasses or your car keys and you only have half an hour to find them. You seek everywhere , you turn the whole place asunder, and nothing, they are nowhere to be seen. You decide you'll go out without glasses, or you'll call a taxi, you forget about the missing object... and when you come home, voila, it's right there on the Tv set , right under your nose.
Have fun experimenting new positions, fantasies etc.., if you wish, but do not go on a quest for that Holy Grail of an orgasm through vaginal penetration only. It can be quite elusive, and the more you focus on it, the more you put pressure on yourself, ... the more it will elude you. Let it happen, if it happens it happens, and if not.. no big deal. There's quite a lot of women that simply can't orgasm through penetration alone, do you know that ? It's not that they are less sexual or sensual, or ... that they are missing out. An orgasm is an orgasm through whatever means is obtained , so... don't worry.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2012): It's simple, you can't. Most women can't OP. Most women can only orgasm through clitoral stimulation alone and it doesn't matter what size or shape your partners penis is it'll never happen for you. Seriously, if it was possible you wouldn't need to ask it would have happened by now.
The only thing you can do to achieve an orgasm through intercourse is to stimulate your clitoris at the same time. That's that.
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