A
female
age
16-17,
anonymous
writes:me and my "bf" had sex for the first time about a week ago (been together for a little over 3 months but we haven't made it official yet) and I guess I left a hickey on his neck .Anyways fast forward to about 2 days later and his parents saw and when I asked him what he said he said , "I told them the truth, that we had sex ". I got really embarrassed and mad because I have yet to meet his parents. I find it embarrassing that they know and probably now have a image of their son having sex with me. I asked him what they said and he said that they didn't care. I told him that I feel like I gave them a bad first impression he was reassuring me that they didn't care about the sex . I feel like now when I do meet them they are going to judge me harder. at least we are serious enough to let his mom know he's having sex . I don't know what to think about the whole thing Reply to this Question
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female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (14 January 2023):
 As an adult, I can tell you that likely his parents may have *told* him that they didn't care, or *acted* like they didn't care, but unless they are cruddy parents, they probably did care. If they are good parents, they also cared a whole bunch about you and making sure that you were respected, the sex was safe and that you're okay.
I'm sorry for you, though. I would also be pretty embarrassed about the situation. Most people have sex at some point or another, so please don't be TOO embarrassed. You're just a human doing human things.
I'm giving these parents the benefit of the doubt. And when you meet them, don't worry so much - they were also teenagers, they've also had sex, and now this is just the reality of raising teenagers.
I don't want to gloss over how young you are, so I will say this: please always have safe sex. Please always have sex with people who you trust, and who you know genuinely care about you - not just your body. Protect YOURSELF. Learn about your own body and how to give yourself pleasure - I know that's weird to say, but I always felt like young women should know about that. That way, you never feel like a man who makes you feel good is giving you something you could never otherwise have. Girl, you can give YOURSELF a good time. A real partner is one who goes beyond the sex you have, makes you feel happy and life is more fun when they're around. A real partner makes your world bigger, not smaller.
Know yourself, respect yourself, and when it comes to his parents - hold your head up high. You are so much more than the sex you had. Show them what a cool person you are!
A
male
reader, kenny  + ♥, writes (13 January 2023):
 I find it hard to believe that the parents of someone in the age bracket of 13-15 told them they had sex with someone that they diden't care.
Your both at a very tender age, and what you did could potentially have future implications on the rest of your life.
Yes its important to practice safe sex with birth control and condoms, the last thing you want at this age is to become pregnant, which is why i'm suprised his parents were not bothered.
What's done is done, we can't unscramble scrambled eggs. He told them what you did and there is nothing you can do about that. All you can do is when you meet them try to just be as normal as possible.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (12 January 2023):
 If you don't want to be "judged" for doing something, don't do it.
It's that simple.
He might have a really open and honest relationship with his parents.
You don't know if they will judge you "harder" or not, you haven't even met them. If anything, you are judging them, aren't you?
I hope you two practice safe sex, as in, with BOTH birth control and condoms. You are both too young to have kids.
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