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His FB status says married. Do you think this means they're together? He is a joker

Tagged as: Big Questions, Long distance, Three is a crowd, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 August 2012) 5 Answers - (Newest, 11 August 2012)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

There's this guy I met at the very end of my exchange and we hooked up on my last night there.

It's been almost 6 weeks now and on Facebook he's just put that he's in a relationship with some girl but it says "Married".

I know that he is definitely not married to her. I also know that they don't live in the same country and they've been close friends since high school (like 6 years ago).

Do you think this means they're together? He is a joker but you usually see those status updates b/w best friends (of the same sex) as a joke.

I just feel weird asking our mutual friends because I'm not even in the same country and it's not like anything more was going to happen b/w us.

I'm just curious b/c there's a possibility he cheated on her with me.

After we hooked up he went away for a month (not w/ her)- so timing wise i doubt he'd put he was in a r/ship after dating someone for 2 weeks who doesn't even live in the same country- right? If he's with her, then he was probably with her before we hooked up.

let me know your thoughts

View related questions: best friend, facebook, my ex

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2012):

I just wanted to know so I can learn from the experience and not hook up with unavailable guys, if that's the case here.

I wouldn't have hooked up with him if I knew he was taken, b/c I don't like being that 'girl' - so that's my motivation for knowing.

All our mutual friends know that we hooked up. We exchanged numbers and we've had some contact but I'm not going to ask him- that would just be too weird b/c i'm not carrying a torch for him and i don't want to cause trouble if he does have a GF (but like i said all our friends know we hooked up)

I'm sure I'll hear about it from my friends over there soon enough if it's true but i'm not going to dwell on it - so will keep you posted

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A female reader, BondGirl72 United States +, writes (10 August 2012):

BondGirl72 agony auntI wouldn't trust Facebook to find out any facts about someone that I wanted to know. If you want to know something about the guy, call him and ask. I am not sure why you are so concerned if you are no longer seeing him. You hooked up and it sounds like you no longer keep in touch anyway.

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A male reader, no nonsense Aidan United Kingdom +, writes (10 August 2012):

He could have started a relationship with the girl after your encounter and therefore he did not cheat on her with you. But as you said, it’s going nowhere between you anyway so don’t worry about it. Maybe it’ll become clear over time whether they’re together or not, for example if he writes status updates or posts pictures but you should just keep your focus on other things.

I wish you all the very best.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (10 August 2012):

Honeypie agony auntOnly he can really tell you.

And people who are in relationships do go separate vacations too, at least some do. So him going off on a vacation doesn't mean he isn't in a relationship.

The fact that he hooked up with you on YOUR last night doesn't mean a thing.. it could be he IS in one and figured he could hook up with you without anyone finding out.

But, like I said, only he can really tell.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2012):

Hi, So you want to know just out of curiosity? If the answer is yes, they were going out beforehand what does that mean to you? Would you be shocked and a bit upset etc... Would you like to learn about human behavior from this? If I were you I would think of the worst case scenario and learn from the experience. Making attempts to find out might make him and mutual friends alienate you as they may see you as a troublemaker, at least that's my opinion! Good luck...I hope at least you had a good time.... Overall thinking in this way means you have the worst case scenario "base"

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