A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hi i'm 16. one of my boyfriends best friends is a girl. they are very very close. and i cant help but feel jealous about it.we have a very good relationship and we love each other a lot. but i dont usually see him that often and it kills me knowing that they see eachother everyday at school.I know there is nothing going on between them, they are just best friends. but i keep thinking to myself that he compares me to her.the other night he told me that they were on the phone for hours! why would he tell me that? maybe to hint that i must phone him for a long time.i dont think he does it on purpose but this is killing me inside. he isnt doing anything wrong with this girl and he has never ditched me for her. so its not like i can speak to him about it.i have just got to get over the jealousy. please someone help and give me advice on how to just accept this.
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female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (12 March 2007):
 Feelings such as jealousy are based on fear and do not come from love at all, we say we feel like this BECAUSE we love the person but this isn't the case at all. Jealousy comes from wanting to possess and wanting to own or have. One cannot own another being or even the mind of another being. One being cannot live for another. Remember that FEAR stands for False Evidence Appearing Real. Fear immobilizes and makes it virtually impossible for people to think effectively because it bypasses the pre frontal cortex and goes directly to your right brain emotional center and is thus not even analyzed first!
Feelings such as guilt and worry are in the same category. See what benefits you could possibly derive from sitting in your favourite chair and contemplating as well as experiencing these feelings intensely for a few hours? None of course because they do not deliver any benefit other than getting you into an even greater state of fear. So you see, that jealousy, guilt, fear and worry all belong in the trash bin because they do not deliver any benefit whatsoever. Love on the other hand will get you to understand and be less fearful. This in turn will make it possible for you to experience joy and bliss.
Remember always: You have a mind, your feelings come from your mind therefore you can control your feelings. In other words, YOU are in charge and nobody else. YOU determine the future. And you become what you THINK. Be careful because the universe will deliver that which you THINK!
Eve
A
female
reader, lamo +, writes (12 March 2007):
 try and be friends with this girl if you can. sometimes poeple are not meant to be friends but try 4 him you might find that you really like her. now you got to ask if you r jealous of her hanging around your boyfriend or are you jealous that ya boyfriend spending more time with her. if its yoour boyfriend hanging around with her then you got to tell him. jealousy is the most ugly feeling anyone can have it can make you go crazy . so please try and make friends with her and talk to your boyfriend when you know what you are really jealous about
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