A
female
age
36-40,
*ichelle.lene
writes:I am a mother of 7 year old child. As of January I lost my job and since I've had to wait a bit but I was granted unemployment benefits. I have been to many interviews but recently I interviewed fora position and they bought me in for a second interview. I reviewed with them I go to school 2 evenings a week and they said they have no problem working with that schedule. But I would have to work every weekend. My daughter visits with her father (my ex husband ) every weekend so I would have childcare. But after my divorce I've been in 2 bad relationships and I am now 1 year into a great relationship with a teacher who has his degree already and is off during the weekends. He is very supportive of my typically busy lifestyle mom/student /typically until recently full time worker. The only real time we spend together or can spend together is the weekend.. I'm afraid if I take this position which gives me 2 days during the week off, I will loose touch of my relationship with him because I won't really have time for him. I know my biggest priority isffinishing my degree having time time care for my daughter and getting back working again. I don't want to be on unemployment a moment longer than I have to I talked to him about it he just said do whave to but really should I consider him so highly? Because he's not my husband, he doesn't live with me,he doesn't contribute to my household he's my boyfriend. Although I Love him dearly it shouldn't be that big of a factor. Deep down inside I have some lingering trust issues I feel like he will cheat or want to be with someone else who isn't doing so much. I don't want to cut out a good man timewise but it's a tough economy and getting a job is hard. Say I turn this down because of a schedule and who knows when the next opportunity comes. I feel torn because I'm not in position like those who have traveling jobs or military. Otherwise I'd be off 2 days a week and the weekend I would work 11-5 that's a good chunk of the day I could still see him but we can't go to church together on Sunday. Also the company is expanding and may have other locations I can. Go to within 6 months it's a good company so it might not stay this way. I have a couple years left to my degree and the company encourages that. A part of me feels that if a work schedule is that threatening to my relationship Maybe it's not strong enough or Maybe I'm not trusting enough? We talk about having a future together and he's so supportive of me. I might be making a big deal of the wrong things. And I need to handle What's important. Maybe I would way heavier on it if he was my fiance or husband.... should I keep looking? What should I do?
View related questions:
divorce, fiance, military Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (6 April 2013):
 Congrats on the job! At least you know he cares enough to be a bit bummed. I hope it all works out for you!
A
female
reader, michelle.lene +, writes (6 April 2013):
michelle.lene is verified as being by the original poster of the questionUpdate: I did take the job I start Monday! He isn't thrilled or happy for me. He said he's just happy I'm working again and to keep looking for something else. He's being supportive but I can tell he's bummed.
...............................
A
female
reader, michelle.lene +, writes (2 April 2013):
michelle.lene is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTisha -1 you bring up some great questions for me to really consider. I do appreciate your advice greatly and put things in perspective. I will spread my timeline as best I can for me to have the best fit.
...............................
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (2 April 2013):
It sounds like you have your priorities straight. Child, yourself, your career and then him.
Honestly, what's the worst that can happen? That the relationship doesn't survive the tough spots? Well, if he can't stick around when it gets tough, he's not the right guy for you, am I right?
Go ahead and take the job, it sounds like it will be a good career move. Just because you take the job doesn't mean you have sold yourself into slavery and you will never ever be able to get out if things don't pan out the way you hoped they would. That is, you can leave the job if it's not suiting your needs.
Adjustments will have to be made but maybe this will make the times together that much sweeter and you'll be able to parlay the new position into something that does work for both of you.
You'll be able to finish your degree and then you'll have more employment options.
What are your other options at this point? Are you taking this job because it's the only one out there for you at this time? Are there other jobs you are waiting to hear back on, do you have other leads?
How much time do you have to accept their offer? Can you focus intently on seeking other jobs until you have to commit, or pass, on their offer, see if something suitable comes up that has a better schedule?
Can you continue to look for a job during the week; what does the employment contact require you as far as length of service and giving notice?
Sorry to ask so many questions but maybe they will align your thinking in a way that will help you decide what is best for you at this moment in time?
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2013): You need to do what is in the best interest of you & your daughter & that sounds like taking this job. If he is the right man, you two will work it. If you have to worry about him cheating, he isn't the one.
...............................
|
