A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Is it normal for a FWB relationship to last nearly two years and what does it mean when the guy is showing signs of affection like cuddling, Eskimo kissing and just appearing on a whim?? These things have just started recently in my experience he still only texts me on occasion etc but these new behaviours have me wondering if things maybe changing?? I don't want to get my hopes up however as he has a rep of being a player but with this change in behaviour has me wondering
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2013): If after 2yrs it has not turned into a relationship, then it is not going to happen. He is still just contacting you when he wants to get laid. Just because he is cuddling more, does not mean he sees you as gf material. If he did, he would be dating you properly, not just contacting you to get his leg over. Heck, I cuddled and kissed alot of girls I was just banging for the purpose of keeping them sweet, or perhaps just out of boredom or feeling like I had to.
Women need to realise that unless you have respect for yourself, then a guy won't have respect for you. The fact is, no matter what women say about being ok with casual relationships, ultimately, sex is emotional to women and most will get attached over time, wanting more when clearly the guy will not feel the same. If you are going to let a guy just bang you whenever he like, on whatever terms he wants (I am guessing he doesn't take you out to dinner, shopping, theatre etc, literally you are just a bit of fun) then why would he want to respect or change that? The old saying, why buy the cow if the milk is free springs to mind.
Sorry if this sounds harsh, but you can here for the honest opinion but perhaps it was not what you hoped to hear. Get rid of him...but my guess is, you will not, you will still keep spreading your legs whenever he feels the itch and it will perhaps taper on for months or even years later, till he gets bored and actually finds a girl he wants to properly date, then you would stop hearing from him.
Oh and incidentally, I can guarantee you that he is also banging another girl (or girls) at the same time as you. I am willing to bet any amount of money on that. The signs are all there.
The next guy, have a bit more respect for yourself. Don't give it up so easily and if he is genuinely interested, he would wait.
Good luck
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2013): Maybe one of his other "friends" just ditched him and he needs a bit more attention/ validation from you for a short while?
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (2 April 2013):
 Don't get your hopes up. (clearly you want it or you would not be asking)
It's FRIENDS with benefits... he's just being friendly and comfy.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2013): It means nothing, nothing wrong with treating the pussy nicely OP. He's hardly going to give you a slap and spit in your face when you give him no strings sex.
Don't get your hopes up, two years of banging you and he hasn't asked you out means he never will.
If you ask me he's actually treating you worse than normal FWB's do, you're actually just a fuck buddy.
I mean I'd hang out with, hold, sit in and do nothing but watch a movie, hang out together a lot with my FWB's, I never just picked them up on a whim. They were my "friends" after all.
You're just a warm hole he sticks it in OP, well lower in rank than an FWB and probably even lower than a fuck buddy seeing as it's all on his conditions and you seem to drop everything for him when he wants.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (2 April 2013):
 He's grown fond of you enough to cuddle a bit but not enough to make you an official girlfriend, I think is what you are saying?
I hate to bring this idea up, but… I think forewarned is forearmed. He may have begun to develop a real romantic relationship with another girl and is feeling a bit guilty about you, so he's making himself feel better by showing you some scraps of affection.
I would guard your heart.
And for heaven's sake, if you want more, ask for it. If he can't give it to you, well, there are literally billions of men on this planet. Certainly one of them will be able to give you sex AND a real love relationship? You have to look after yourself, no one else is going to, especially not a guy who is a player, no matter how good an Eskimo kisser he is.
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