A
female
age
36-40,
*elbelle2430
writes:About a month and a half ago my boyfriend broke up with me. Over Facebook. We were "that" couple and everyone loved us. We got along on every level and always had such an amazing time together. The last couple weeks we had been fighting because every weekend he would get trashed, sometimes to the point of not even knowing what bar he was at. We used to spend every night together and all of a sudden he started asking for more space. I always gave it to him but he knew it was hard for me. At my birthday party I found out he was talking about how he was thinking about ending things to his friends. And I found out he told his boy we were on the rocks and he was getting his "single body ready". A couple days later he just told me he was done over the Internet, after we spent the night together right before. I've heard every excuse, it was me, it's him, I'm just not the one and he's looking to settle down. I've run into him multiple times since then. The other day he texted me and asked why I was so quiet. I told him it’s because I’ve heard that he's already dating somebody. He then went on to tell me that he met some girl a month ago (so just a couple weeks after we broke up) and they're talking. She wants a relationship but he doesn't. And then told me he even made out with another girl right in front of her! The next day he wrote me saying he loves life, being single, and exploring. We should meet up as friends. And that he watched our "videos" (intimate) the other night, wink wink. I didn't respond. Last night I saw him out and he came up to talk. I said hi and just kept talking to my friends. And then today he wrote me next time don't be so awkward haha. This is hard for me. I still care for him and it hurts to hear what he's doing with other girls and how happy he is! I just haven't responded. I don't want to be immature or play games. What do I do? How do I stop missing him?
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female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (27 April 2013):
 Drling you are doing absolutely the right thing by NOT responding to him.
It kinda makes me sick how some people can break up a relationship and not have the decency to leave the other person alone to grieve...it's cruel and misguided.
I tink he is being extremely insensitive and insisting on you being friends and waggling his new 'relationships' in your face is, quite frankly, disgusting.
Of course you are hurting, it must be torture to see him around other wome or just hearing about his 'single' life. I think I would be inclined to tell him to f**k off nd if he really wants the truth you can e-mail him:
Dear so and so,
It's all very well you breaking up our relationship because you wanted to be single again, but I am finding it rather annoying that you are still hanging round me and texting me because the truth is 'I DO NOT WANT TO KNOW'. I also do not wish to be friends with someonewho dumped me, why?...you figure it out. Now run along, have a happy life and allow me the space to get on with mine.
That should give him the message!
You will only stop missing him when he is no longer in your face and the quicker you send him packing, the sooner you will get your life back xxx
A
female
reader, queenadelaide +, writes (27 April 2013):
How do you stop missing him?There's nothing you can do. Only time can ease the pain.However, I must commend you on how you've handled yourself. You've been hanging out with your friends and not desperately talking to him to convince him that he made a mistake. What you are doing is the first step to recovery.He sounds like he wants to become friends with benefits. It's up to you what do, but there's just more heartache for you if you give in to his advances and then he dumps you when he meets someone he actually wants to go out with in a few months.I'd also suggest treating yourself to all the things you enjoy. Tick a few things off your bucket list and keep yourself busy. It'll restore your zest for life and your confidence so that when you do meet the next significant other, he will complement you rather than complete you because you'll be whole and happy all by yourself.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2013): I'm sorry you're in this situation...Even though you got along so well and had amazing times together, he is unfortunately too immature to be with you right now.He broke up with you over Facebook, no common decency to meet up and tell you face to face.He gets trashed every weekend, not knowing where he is - fine if he wants to be single but a guy in a relationship? Does not sound like best boyfriend material to me.Then the comments you overheard, about his single body being ready, plus he himself told you what he said to that girl he met recently: he does Not want to be in a relationship. All his actions show this...Take him at his word, you deserve better than this, and you should focus on your life apart from him, that is how in time you will miss him less and less. He is just hurting you right now, you should cut contact if possible, because it's all fun for him while you hurt privately over it all.In time you will see, you will grow stronger, feel better, may meet someone else eventually who never wants to lose you, unlike mr immature who easily pushed you away and asks you not to be akward about it. He has no idea.Maybe one day he will realise his mistake, when he matures a bit, but it may be too late by then. Time will tell. You got along great, but you're at different stages in life right now.So spend time with family, friends, chase your other dreams, live life and one day who knows what will be? the hurt will pass eventually, and you will be happy again.Good luck!G's Girl
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2013): You should just keep doing what you're doing and ignore him. If you have to, since apparently he doesn't take hints very well, you could politely respond, remind him it's over and feel it's best if he doesn't text you details about his personal life or try to rekindle past relations between the two of you. That's one way of going about it. Or just don't respond. Eventually, if you ignore him long enough he'll get the hint.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2013): Hi hun, well I know how you feel, it is really hard , when they act like it doesn't bother them.I just think some people are just cold hearted. I think he just want from you now is f.w.b. I think it work's both way's, men can be that way ,an women too. I think the best thing you can do is, no contact, no phone call's, tex, or no hello if you see him, some time's they will miss you that way, and that will get them thinking it is completely over, an they will come back, maybe, you have to get them to miss you.If you really love him, it will take a long time, am sorry, but these people who say just forget about him, well it is not easy it so hard you can't stop thinking about them, am a man it's been almost a year an I still miss her with every beat of my heart, but she's not thinking about me, she rather be with the guy who beat's her up, so hun, I know how it feel's, it's a physical pain in your heart, it's hard to believe we can love some one so much, an they don't even think about us. I hope it better for you real soon, he lost out, just try to smile.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2013): Hi hun, well I know how you feel, it is really hard , when they act like it doesn't bother them, I just think some people are just cold hearted. I think he just want from you now is f.w.b. I think it work's both way's, men can be that way ,an women too.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2013): One good teacher once taught us that men are like puppies.. when you follow them, they lead you; when you lead them, they follow you.
My suggestion is keep your feelings to yourself and focus on your own life.. get a hair cut, get a massage, do something fun and exciting with your friends, and if you meet a nice guy, don't be shy to go out with him. If your ex realizes what he's missed out and wants to come back, you make your decision based on what you feel at that time. But once you move on and hopefully meet a more mature and decent guy, I'm sure you'll forget him. Wish you all the best!
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