A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:HiMy boyfriend and I went out at university and he cheated a few times (it was long distance). We broke up but a year later we got back together because he is finished universty. I said there was a lot of things that needed to be done on his part to make me learn to trust again and one of these was that I said he shouldn’t be in touch with ex girls or need to take any new girls numbers. He promised he wouldn’t. Yet I’ve seen his phone bill. Not only has he got a new number of a girl at his new job who he's texting when I’m not around but he is texting his ex (he only dated her a month but she is very pretty ) after nights out drinking.What should I do – maybe there is nothing in these texts but I suppose if he thinks I don’t know then he gets away with it – any suggestions? I just don’t like that he is going behind my back after he promised not to??
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broke up, got back together, his ex, long distance, text, university Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2007): Don't trust this guy. He will cheat on you again guareenteed, if he hasn't already. I had the same problems with my ex-boyfriend. He made lots of promises but never kept any. Please, please do yourself a favour and leave him before you get incredibly hurt.
A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (19 January 2007):
 I think that maybe asking him to have no contact with other girls was a tiny bit unreasonable on your part but if he agreed and is going against you now that's also kind of wrong. Ask him about friends in work, if he'd like to bring anyone home for dinner etc? Don't try to stop him being friends with girls because if you control him too much you'll just end pushing him away. It doesn't seem like you have any reason to suspect he's cheating other than his past behaviour but he's grown up a lot since uni so try to give him a break.
CD
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2007): You do deserve better. You cannot live like this! Wondering about texts and what he is up to. If i was you i would get rid, right now. I don't really think you two are right for each and he will bring you a lot of pain and heartache.
Take care
xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2007): You do deserve better. You cannot live like this! Wondering about texts and what he is up to. If i was you i would get rid, right now. I don't really think you two are right for each and he will bring you a lot of pain and heartache.
Take care
xx
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A
female
reader, AngelofLove +, writes (19 January 2007):
 If your boyfriend agreed not to contact other girls and seems to go it when you are not around, he has been dishonest with you.
By hiding these contacts from you, does not make texts innocent. If they were, why not doing in the open? Perhaps he is trying to avoid a negative reaction as he knows how you feel about it.
You will only find out the reason if you talk to him.
Perhaps he is not ready for the commitment that you seek. You both want different things from this relationship and if by talking to him this problem has not improved, you should leave before he breaks your heart again.
Find someone who can dedicate his romantic attention only to you.
Good luck
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A
female
reader, Millyella  +, writes (19 January 2007):
 You must ask yourself what you want and deserve here. Do you want to be in a relationship with a man who lies to you and perhaps cheats on you? Or are you content to turn a blind eye to his behaviour?
If you want a trustworthy man, you will need to look further than this one i'm afraid. You have told him that you have trust issues due to his behaviour in the past, and yet he continues to lie to you and maybe more.
If you are happy to live a lie, then by all means go ahead and forget you ever saw the evidence.
You are in the driving seat here; decide what you want from your relationship. If you're not getting it from him, it's time to call it a day. Remember, you've already given him one chance; your self-esteem is further eroded with every day that passes.
You deserve more.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2007): Leave him!! Only one simple answer if he takes other girls numbers he obvioulsy doesnt care enough about your feelings
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