A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I need some advice because my heart I think will rule my head. I was seeing this guy and things were ok, he told me was divorced and just wanting to keep things casual, I was disappointed but truthfully I was flattered that this guy was interested in me and I was using him to build confidence which worked for me. Anyway, before I actually realized we would just meet up and have a snog and sometimes a little foreplay, never sex. Anyway, I got bored with this, then I found out that he was divorced but he also had a longterm girlfriend, when I asked about it he just said that it's complicated and at the moment he cant talk about it, it has been a while since I heard from him but he has got in contact and wants to see me sometime not just now but when his life has sorted it self out to explain things, I am unsure how to reply because I really like this guy. Part of me thinks if I had been up for it we would have had sex and he was cheating anyway by us kissing but he says its not because of the circumstances, should I hear him out when he eventually does want to call me up?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (21 January 2012):
 Hehe, that's rich. Some people have nerve. " Oh it's complicated, there would be too much to explain, look, why don't you just lay down nice and cozy, and open your legs , and once I have stuck it into you, I am sure you can understand it better ... " Yeah I know , he did not say that :) . But that's what more or less he had in mind.
What do you care about his explanations ? which will come at a convenient future later date, i.e. when he has had the time to concoct some bullshit to feed you about why this would be different , and circumstances are different, from your usual cheater having a little something on the side .
As you rightly remark, if he has a gf and he kisses you, that's already cheating, why didn't he explain THAT if he had a good reason ?... Don't waste time on this, there's no secret to discover, and nothing for you to gain.
A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (21 January 2012):
 A guy who plays games like this will never improve your self esteem...in fact if you allow him to use you in any way at all, even for just a kiss or a listening ear, it is going to chip away at your good nature until there is nothing left of you.
He is a cheat and a liar!!
Will a cheat and a liar who obviously has commitment issues and uses avoidance tactics to get what he wants make you happy?
No
Forget him and find someone else whos a better person.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (20 January 2012):
 I wouldn't waste another minute with this guy.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2012): No you shouldn't hear him out. He lied to you from the start, that won't change and things will get worse from there.
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