A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I was dating my ex for 3 months, I broke it off with him. While I was being completely honest, faithful and trustworthy in the relationship he was not, he lied to me about not having social media sites and I basically caught him lying, not to mention he had a girlfriend the entire we were dating, they have have been together for 1 1/2 years.I confronted him on the situation and he told me he was going to dump her after the first of the year because he didn't love her and wanted to be with me, but didn't know how to do it because the holidays were coming up. (I told him he was a heartless and evil person for creating a situation like this).I was stupid and I said I wanted to work things out, because minus all the drama we had a lot in common. He broke up with her and we were just going to take things slow with no title. Then I said there were all these rules and he dumped me to get back with her because she "puts up with his shit" and lying, cheating ways as I wouldn't. We hung out a few times just to talk and see each other, harmless. Then I finally got my head out of add and realized...He is still trying to see me while he has a girlfriend! I told him that I was done, that I was being naive and stupid. I told him that he didn't deserve someone like me and that I deserved someone better then him. I told him that we shouldn't have hung out and I regretted it because I didn't want to be alone. I told that what he did was wrong and that I hope he would never do this to another girl who gets her feeling wrapped up for him and then breaks their hearts. All he told me was: OKI then told him "that's all you have to say is ok.? No I'm sorry for bringing you into this situation or anything?!" And replied with "bye".It proved to show that he really didn't care, what I want to know is should I text him and let him know how I felt? I went I a rampage when we argued and he said those things too me, that he wished he met me when he was single, and that I was the girl of his dreams. I have had closure and I'm happy. But, do you think it is dumb of me to text him, in a mature manner that what he did was wrong and that he should really think about the situation and how he hurt me while I was 100% real from the beginning and that he needs to start making better decisions in life? Part me says yes and then part of me says no, don't text him. Then again, maybe I'm just looking to see if he would text back? I don't know I'm confused. The thing that question the most is how someone could be with someone who cheated on them?
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female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (21 December 2013):
 You already knows that he doesn't give a shit about how he treats women, not you, nor his GF. HE DOESN'T CARE.
I understand that you WANT to make him understand what he is doing is wrong. BUT that is like telling a sharp rock in a stream that it shouldn't be there, because it can cut someone's feet. you think the rock will move? You think the rock will care?
ALL you do by texting him is KEEPING HIM in your mind and heart (even if you are mad as a hatter at him) HE WON'T CHANGE.
My bet is, he didn't even dump his GF back when he told you he did. He just said whatever he thought you wanted to hear so he could get in your pants and use you. And you know what? IT WORKED.
As for your last question, my guess you are referring to his GF.
1. she might actually NOT know.(which is my guess)
2. She might be so insecure that she rather put up with a cheating BF then be single.
3. She might be an idiot.
4. If they were living together she might not be able to pay for it all herself so she thinks she "needs" him in her life.
5. ANY OTHER reason - the thing is IT DOESN'T matter WHY she is still with him. THAT is HER choice.
Don't worry about it. YOU did the right thing is dumping him, now you NEED to cut all contact and IGNORE him so YOU can move on. YOU were only with him for 3 months, so unless you KEEP trying to fix him or "try and figure out" if you weren't good enough or whatever enough (because it WASN'T about you - it is about him using women, ANY woman) The ONLY thing I can see that you did "wrong" was take him back when he told you he broke up with his ex. Because I BET YOU he never broke up, the dude is full of shit. BUT you fell for it and he used you a little while longer.
So don't date guys who have PROVEN to be a liar and a cheat - no matter the sweet talk. BECAUSE those fellas DO NOT change. No matter HOW much you LOVE them. YOU can not fix them.
Take it slow. Don't get intimate til you know him well enough to know that he IS single, meet some friends of his, family even, BEFORE getting intimate. KNOW where you stand.
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (21 December 2013):
 You've got all the information you need to know that this guy is a dog, and you don't want to spend any time/attention on him... sooooo
..... what do you expect you can accomplish by contacting him.... EXCEPT that you'll keep the door open to communications between the two of you. IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT (to accomplish)???? If "yes," then contact him. If "no," then no communication....
Good luck...
P.S. IF you send him a scathing note that outlines just what a dog he is... THAT (note) will "roll of his back"... and he'll ignore it.... and get on to his NEXT girl/conquest....
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A
male
reader, devont  +, writes (21 December 2013):
 I don't think you should text him. Your relationship has ended and you have already told him how you felt. He doesn't deserve anymore of your time.
Even if you want to, try not to. He may see it as an invitation to try pursuing you again, but don't think he'll change. He won't, he'll still be a lier and a cheater. I would advise to steer well clear.
All the best.
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A
female
reader, Atsweet1 +, writes (21 December 2013):
 I have caused heartbreak it's not a good feeling I have felt it still to the day that person dont talk to me only says bye. I apologize it can't change the past. If you want to call ir text I don't see how it would harn anything they would probably be glad to here from you and know your alright. If you forgive and accept people make graves mistakes not all people want to sadistly break hearts and cheat.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (21 December 2013):
 Texting him would be redundant. If he's capable of empathy then he wouldn't be using girls for an ego stroke. You have said all you could. People like that don't care if they hurt others, because it means they succeeded in making others fall for them. You had been treating him like a loyal girlfriend should and he just looked at you as a side item. So mature conversations won't amount to anything because it requires two equal partners with similar thought patterns. You were with him for 3 months so let it just be 3 months and not drag on for longer. A person like this is not worth any second of attention. How could his girlfriend put up with this? She got hooked on his sweet words and can't let it go. Maybe she felt he's the best she could have.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2013): "what I want to know is should I text him and let him know how I felt?"
He knows how you felt and he doesn't care, that's why he treated you with contempt and disrespect.
"But, do you think it is dumb of me to text him, in a mature manner . . ."
Texting him at all would be dumb and immature.
"that what he did was wrong and that he should really think about the situation and how he hurt me . . ."
He already knows.
". . . while I was 100% real from the beginning and that he needs to start making better decisions in life?"
He doesn't care.
"The thing that question the most is how someone could be with someone who cheated on them?"
Are you asking about his girlfriend or yourself, because you certainly were willing make excuses to hang around even after you knew first-hand that he is a lying, cheating scumbag.
I suspect you are letting your ego, your vanity, and your determination to prove you are right override your brains and backbone. In your mind the only thing him worse than his being a lying cheating scumbag is his choosing another woman over you because you're better than she is.
If you had any common sense at all then you would have walked away the instant you discovered he had a girlfriend instead of confronting him; instead you gave him the opportunity to concoct a lame, self-serving BS story that proves what an amoral coward he is and still that wasn't enough for you to dump him on the spot.
Sorry, but you need to smarten up and learn from YOUR mistakes instead of putting all the blame on him. The red flags were there from the start, but you chose to let them slide due to your insistence on proving you're right and he's wrong AND that you're better than she is.
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