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I feel uncomfortable that my B/f''s ex is still a part of his little sisters life as well as his

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating, Family, The ex-factor, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 December 2013) 2 Answers - (Newest, 22 December 2013)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Wondering what people think of this because I find it kind of odd.

I've been with my boyfriend for 5 months.

My boyfriend has a little sister who is 5. When him and his ex girlfriend dated for 2 years, she became really close to his little sister, which is understandable.

So on some weekends, my boyfriend goes on Skype to video chat or gets on the phone with his ex girlfriend so she can talk and keep a relationship with his little sister, because they miss each other and stuff.

But the ex girlfriend and my boyfriend will also talk and catch up with just each other.

I feel bad that I feel upset because it's a little girl, but I feel uncomfortable that his ex girlfriend is still a part of his life like this.

View related questions: ex girlfriend, his ex

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2013):

I don't see why a person should suddenly be excluded from kids they have a family-like relationship with, and be treated like a pariah, just because they are no longer sleeping with those kids' family member.

Kids often have caring adults in their lives who are not related to them or partners of their relatives. Such as their teachers and their friends' parents. So why must the dissolution of a romantic/sexual relationship between two adults, lead to estrangement of one of those people from the kids who love them?

Try to be adults here. The kid sees her as a big sister or aunt. That has zero to do with you and your boyfriend. You are just being territorial and selfish by wanting to eliminate even the slightest possibility of competition for your boyfriend's attention.

If you see evidence of inappropriate behavior between your bf and his ex, that's a sign that you're with the wrong guy. Otherwise trying to police his social interactions is putting your own relationship on shaky ground.

Don't break a kid's heart by trying to take away a supportive adult in her life who was there before YOU were.

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A male reader, devont United Kingdom +, writes (21 December 2013):

devont agony auntThis is hard. I have got lots of nieces and nephews between the ages of 1 and 8 and they became very close to my ex, he was great with kids and became a big part of their life, we often looked after them together. When we broke up and he wasn't there they'd ask after their 'other' uncle... And I just said we weren't together anymore but he missed them. At first they didn't understand and asked when he was coming back... But after a while they stopped asking and now have more than likely forgotten he ever existed.

There is no circumstance where I would have even entertained allowing interaction between my ex and nieces and nephews after our relationship ended, even though they were upset by his departure and missed him greatly.

You need to tread carefully, but I don't think it's ok for your boyfriend to allow his ex to speak to his baby sister. I thought maybe she was older and they were friends and went out, but as she's a child... I would think she is somehow an excuse for them to keep in touch.

Don't be aggressive and confront him very VERY delicately. Talk to him about it, but try not to be defensive. Just ask WHY... Because even if they WERE close... They shouldn't be anymore . She's no longer a part of his life.

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