A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:my boyfriend gets up in the mornings before me sometimes i do wake up to find him reading porn stories like its the sunday paper and masterbating i dont want to but i get mad because i would rather him come wake me so that i can please him i need to know if i am alone or maybe someone can give me the words to let go of the anger
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2007): to let you all know i did talk to him and he said it was just personal time like a hobby not an adiction and that most times he did not get off just rubbed it like rubbing you head or something he aont wake me cause i am not a morning person and thinks ill yell at him for it so after a few days he now tells me he is going to stop the reading cause he now is seeing a change in me he does not like and he thinks that may help us out so thanks for the answers it helped alot
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (23 August 2007):
 Have you let him know that you'd love it if he woke you up in the morning? Tell him that sometimes you get horny too and would love nothing more than to get woken up for some action. Maybe he doesn't want to bother you in the morning. I know when my boyfriend wakes up frisky, I TELL him to go watch porn or something. Let me sleep!
If he's reading erotic STORIES, why not read them together? That can be a totally steamy evening. http://www.literotica.com has the best stories ever. There's stories for everybody on those - you might even find a few that tickle your fancy.You can find stories that are eloquent, beautiful and romantic to a little more Penthouse-esque dirty. Whatever your pleasure, they have 'em.
OR, Why not write your own frisky stories for your man to read in the morning? Be creative!
Voice your displeasure with the morning masturbation sessions and try to compromise a bit. I think printing off a story and reading one together in bed could be a lot of fun (and don't worry, there's no pictures or anything... just sexy words!).
Good luck, sweetness!
xxIndia
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A
male
reader, JustaGuy  +, writes (23 August 2007):
Hey,When i wake up in the morning is whn i find myself really horny, probably its the same with your man, it sounds stupid but perhaps he does'nt want to wake you up and hassle you just to get him off. I know I would feel a bit guilty if i woke a girl up just because I wanted her to please me, I would feel selfish!If he is just casually looking at it to masturbate then talk to him and tell him you would rather him come to you, why look at magazines when you can have the real thing! I dont think you can really call it cheating, but this I understand is just my personnal opinion, would it be cheating if he was'nt looking at porn but still masturbating and thinking about other fantasys? He is probaby just looking at it to enhance the feeling.If he is doing it out of addiction then thats a different story. In the end you'll just have to ask him about it, or 'accidently' wake up one earlier than him one morning and...well thats up to you :P
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2007): I would hate that too. That's awful. I have been in a similar situation and I don't know how you feel, maybe you are more open than I was, but I felt AWFUL. I took it so personally. I was disgusted. Why do they do that? You know? He has you, an actual physical body in bed, and he looks at porn. It's weird. My ex was addicted to porn, though. And he admitted this and knew he had a problem. But it hurt me so bad. And really its not fair. And it's something that is really hard to change in a person, is what I discovered with my ex. But reading your post, I feel your pain, exactly every feeling you have in your stomach. I know about it. The anger.
I don't think what he is doing is fair because its hurting you. And love means never having to say you're sorry. My ex never changed and I talked to him many times and he knew how I felt (self esteem was hurting). It's like porn becomes the other woman. It is almost like cheating. To be honest I think it is cheating to the extent our bf's have taken it. And if you have no one to slap you on the wrist and tell you what you are doing is wrong (just because many people see nothing wrong with porn and see it as just fantasy, but they probably have never been through what we have been through), then it becomes easy for our bf's to get away with behavior that is not normal and really is like cheating. Anyways, I know what you are going through.
Oh and P.S. I don't agree with the comment below about wouldn't you rather him look at porn than cheat. If that's what you have to put up with so that he won't cheat on you that's kind of pathetic. You shouldn't have to put up with anything you don't like just so a guy won't cheat on you. A guy shouldn't cheat on you period. There is no excuse for cheating. If he wants to hook up with other girls he can dump you first and then do as he please.
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A
male
reader, mista_ecks +, writes (22 August 2007):
Look at it like this: would you rather he looked at porn, or to cheat on you? Let him have his fantasies.
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A
female
reader, smeedle +, writes (22 August 2007):
 Hi I really feel for you as I have had a similar situation in my last relationship, my partner of 14 years would spend upto 11 hours on the internet watching porn, he would lie to me and tell me he was at work and then sneak home, he would wait for me to go out the house then the computer would be on within 5 mins.
This really hurt me as I felt inadequate, in fact up until we had the internet installed our sex life was fine, then when he became addicted I just lost interest and felt he was with them in his head.
There is very little you can do, just tell him it upsets you and see what he says, some men do become addicted.
Good luck and keep me informed.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2007): Reading porn isn't a reflection on you or the love he feels for you - men can separate the two (sex and love) and the feeling he gets from this does not mean he would prefer these other women over you. However, it is a sign of disrespect towards your relationship. If you are enjoying porn together and you have no problem with it, then that is perfectly healthy and between the two of you. But if he is secretly reading it before you wake, then he must be aware that this would not be something you are comfortable with. You must be honest with him - tell him that you find this uncomfortable and it makes you feel as if you are not satisfying him. If he does not respect your wishes, then you must ask yourself whether you really want to be with someone who disregards your feelings. I would not be happy with it at all - and most women would feel the same way - so don't feel you are alone in your feelings.
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A
female
reader, girlwhoneedshelp +, writes (22 August 2007):
 That is awful. God I think I would kill my boyfriend if I caught him doing that! He soo should have woken you up. Tell him, it's me or the morning porn!
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A
male
reader, kenny + ♥, writes (22 August 2007):
 I can see why you are upset about this, alot of women would be. Talk to him, tell him how you are feeling and you are not happy with him viewing porn before you get up. Tell him you would rather him come to wake you up than to look at this stuff. But talk to him soon, the longer you leave it the harder it will get.
Good luck x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2007): try taliking to him about it, let him know that you feel slightly uncomfortable with it and that you would prefer if he woke you and the two of you could live out his fantises. maybe you should watch some porn to give you ideas of what to do, that he is obviously interested in, and put it on him. or read and watch porn together.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2007): Hey honey, I am totally with you! Porn is horrible. I'd get mad too if my bf did that. Just talk to him about it and ask him if he needs porn ALL the time!
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