A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Number 1 is what happened to me in 2010.Number 2 is what is currently happening.Please Help !!1) Okay so my situation is really weird. I met this guy who is now my husband on May 26th 2009. That same year in August I lost my virginity to him. a month later I found out I was pregnant. So we got married that same year in november. Everything was going good we got an apartment and was happy. I just had my baby on may 12th. When I had my baby that's when the arguing and fussing started. Anyways just a few days ago my best friend forwards a bunch of txt messages from my husband. He's telling her he really likes her, give him a chance, he has a school boy crush on her, and he likes her company. I went crazy when I found out. Not to mention I always am on his phone and never seen those txt messages so he must have deleted them so I wouldn't see. Okay so my husband had picked her up once and took her to my house to see me. I gues he could tell I needed to hang out with my friends again. She told me he took her to the mall to look for me a gift. Than a few days later he came back with a juicy c braclet for me. But I think he would just use getting me something nice just to hang out with her. My best friend said they hung out three times and swears nothing happened. She said she hept telling him she couldn't do that to me. She also says twice was to get me something nice and once was when he went to smoke with her little sister. So idk. I never knew he liked her but looking back I would tlk about her a lot and he seemed interested in what I was saying. My husband gets deployed in 8 days and I just dnt know what to do. He says he loves me nd wants to be with me and his son. This last week I been acting cool about the situattion me and him even had sex today. What do I do?????? And why did my besy wait so long to tell me about this?? Just to mention my husband is a freaking nempfo (I think that's how you spell it). He loves sex2) Its March 10th 2012. I am so miserable. Like i need help so bad.I decided to take my husband back after he cheated with my bestfriend back in 2010. To this day i give him hell for it and everytime we argue i bring it up. I cant seem to shake what he did to me. Im freaking mad and he has turned me almost evil. I cant even trust nobody. I gave my all to him, gave up every friend i had and turned against my family for him. And he still looks at me like i am worthless. He just started to his ex again and i havent said anything. She lives in a different state but they were first loves and dated threw highschool. I told him not to talk to her when we first got together and it was a long battle to get him to stop. But i guess he is back to comunicating with her. Idk im so fed up. He told me hes not in love with me anymore so i dont understand why he just doesnt leave me. Am i stupid? There is so much going on it would take me forever to write, but what do you think so far ?
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best friend, crush, his ex, lost my virginity Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (11 March 2012):
 Please wait until March 10, 2015..... and, if you've become an adult by then, you may re-submit this....
A
female
reader, helpquickly  +, writes (11 March 2012):
Let him go. You should not have to give up your friends and family for a loving husband. This man is unhappy and seeking refuge, away from you. you are not happy together. let him go and do his searching. don't let him hurt you anymore. you're young and you will definitely meet someone better. honestly, it does get difficult to meet someone after you grow older. but don't fear. be strong and let go of him. this man isn't man enough for you. he doesn't know his own head, but he knows enough to tell you that he doesn't love you anymore. reconcile with your friends and family, we will need them a lot.
p.s. for future reference, it is not a good idea to bring up old issues while fighting, if you have forgiven their mistakes. just keep them to yourself and only bring them up when absolutely necessary like immediately before leaving him.
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A
female
reader, Jingles +, writes (11 March 2012):
WOW.....I wonder what is going on nowadays. At least your friend finally told you, but I don't know why she didn't tell him to get lost immediately. Do you think you can trust him at all? I don't think you will ever be able to trust him; and I don't think by the sound of things that he cares if you trust him. When you are WILLING to stay in a relationship that is abusive and disrespectful, you HAVE TOLD him in his mind that you are not to be respected and he can do anything he wants. It doesn't matter what you have given...IT IS NOT YOU!!!! You cannot change him. CANNOT!!! That is something you must understand sometime in your life and the sooner the better. Go outside and put your hands on the wall...how far can you move that wall? That is how impossible it is to change others. At this time he is what is called a "player". The rules do not apply to him. Are you going to feel safe having sex with him when he has been with other women? He is not going to leave or change unless HE wants to, and why should he? He is having fun and likes things the way they are. If he didn't like the way things are he would leave. He is not bothered one bit. You are NOT stupid! You love this man as crazy as it sounds. Love should be a healthy love that is devoted, considerate and responsible. What he is doing is WRONG and what you want from your marriage is RIGHT. Do the right thing for you and your baby. You have only one choice...to stay you will have to ACCEPT him as he is today with NO changes...no arguing, fussing or anything about what he does...ACCEPT HIM AS HE IS or not. It is up to you.
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