A
female
age
16-17,
*axgirl93
writes:I recently got out of a relationship 2 month ago with "A".Before dating him I was going out with another boy "D" from Feb. 2008 until August 2008.me and A went from from April 2009 until August 2009.I thought that I was in love with A and desperately tried getting back with him even though he had cheated on me while we were together. We were very back and forth after the break up for so long it killed me.Only two weeks ago did i come to the realization that he really doesnt love me and that i dont need to be with him...The thing is, two weeks ago D called me a bit wasted. He told me that he still loved me and that he had never stopped. I was overjoyed and thrilled because I knew that I still had feelings for him as well.The problem though is that D has a girlfriend that he has been with since August 2009. That night he told me that I make him forget about his girlfriend and that he wanted to see me very badly. He also said that he wishes he could tell his girlfriend that he loved her, but he cant because he doesnt.I was just filled with every emotion possible thinking that a year later, this boy is telling me that he loves me.The next day he called me and told me that his girlfriend had told him that she loves him and he said he loved her too. Since then we haven't really talked about what went on that night, but i know that i love this boy. I feel like he is going out with this girl because he doesn't want to hurt her as she is a freshman and he is a senior.I want to be with him and i think that he may want to be with me too. What should i do?
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cheated on me, has a girlfriend Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Friendly Bear  +, writes (7 November 2009):
You need to get out. Go to some parties. Ask both A and D out on some more dates. That way you'll get a better feeling about if they're available and you'll be able to clarify your feelings. Keep an eye out, there may be an E or an F around the corner.....
A
female
reader, quiet-echo  + ♥, writes (6 November 2009):
 Absolutely nothing.
If he wanted to be with you that badly, he'd be with you.
'D' called you when you were on a low. He is an emotional life raft which you have grabbed on to while you heal from the loss of 'A'.
'D' is a temporary distraction from the pain. But sidestepping that pain instead of facing it head on will keep you in a vulnerable state. D does not offer you a healthy relationship in which to grow. He offers you highs and lows, an emotional rollercoaster ride, possible friction with an angry girlfriend and a guilty conscious. And once he's done, it will be someone else.
And it isn't just him. Ask yourself what you offer a potential partner while you're in this state. No one wants to carry someone else's baggage, and meddling in someone else's relationship will only add to that baggage. That's not fair to someone else.
You need time on your own to regroup and regain your confidence. It hurts, but you will get over this if you give yourself the chance.
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