A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Why would a man pull back when you get physical with him? I have been dating this guy and I know that we are not exclusive ..but I did some sexual things with him. I noticed that he texted me less after that. He used to text and say good morning all the time. He has stopped doing that. He sent other random texts but not every day like before. So , when I hadn't heard from him and noticed that he wasn't going to ask me out for the weekend I texted him to say hello. He responded back and we continued a conversation over text. Then he texted the next day to ask how I was doing. This was yesterday. Has he completely pulled away or is he just texting me but not going to ask me out ever again? Or is this a good sign that he returned my texts? Are we back on track or should I not think anything of it?
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female
reader, Paul_2012  +, writes (28 February 2012):
 This happened to my GFs sister actually!
my gf would kill me if she seen me putting this up here...
but, basically she met a guy on the internet they had been chatting for like 3 years!
then she decided to meet him. first things were great always talking to each other - she also got the morning texts, used to clal her up, everytime she called him he was never too busy to talk and would give her his time.
now, after meeting? they barely talk and he went cold with her but he didnt mind still meeting up two other times.
she stopped chasing him after a while and after hearing she got a bf he got in contact with her asking about meeting up and that the sex was so good - yeah a real jerk.
she told him where to go tho and she is happy with her new bf
but, this is what i hate, girls chasing guys.
if you are chasning him and getting nothing back, why continue? he isnt into you and im sorry that sounds harsh.
but with guys, sometimes sleeping with a girl is like a challenge - for example, above, a challenge to bed my gfs sister after three years cuz she played hard to get - once he got what he wanted, the excittment died down and it was no longer a challenge .. you get me?
but guys who view sex as a challegens are ass holes.
seriously, leave him be, if he is interested he will talk to you if not then leave him alone he isnt worth your time :)
man i hate those kindda guys.
so yeah, leave him be,
or ill give him a visit if ye like ;) haha
Paul
A
female
reader, Dear Mandy +, writes (27 February 2012):
 HI
you have only been on four dates, and already had some sexual activities with him, I think your better off leaving this guy be, he got what he was after, just learn from this, and dont be so eager in future ( nervous or not) talking about your sex life in that way is just asking him into your bed really.you unwittingly teased him. He may have been wrong for abusing that situation, but you did put it on a plate for him :/
Mandy x
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A
male
reader, Tom Obler +, writes (27 February 2012):
 It seems he had sex and then was simply going to move on and cut contact. You kept the contact going so he is just keeping things polite for the short term. That's how it sounds. But I'm only guessing. I bet if you stopped texting him, then you wouldn't hear from him again.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2012): I think you're reading too much into this to be honest OP, no one here can you what he's thinking or why he's thinking that nor if there is anything wrong.
Why don't you ask him out? Instead of waiting around pulling your hair out. It's not like he's stopped contacting you completely maybe he just thinks he messed up that time you got intimate.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwe had been on 4 dates...I said a few things too on our date that I thought I was being funny about like hmmm I can't remember when the last time I had sex was. I was just kidding..I really don't know why I said that. Maybe I sounded immature or easy since I couldn't remember. But the fact is that I could. I just sometimes say things when I am nervous that don't make sense.
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A
male
reader, landomando +, writes (27 February 2012):
You messed up. You wanted a relationship with this guy and the first thing you do is have sex with him. A guy will like you, notice you and do things to get you to like him. We want to have sex with you! That is why we do that! The thing is the more you control your self and say no!!!!! The more we start to like you. Get to know you and start to have feelings for you. The more we talk, go on dates and hang out we grow feelings for you. When he waits for you he really does like you.
But when you just start to have sexual things with him, you bye passed all the getting to know you and just made it too easy for him. He hasnt just pulled away, he moved on.
Sorry but you are now just a number in his phone to call when he wants someeee.
He will ask u out when he wants some sexual things.. and u arent dating if you arent exclusive. It just shows that he doesnt think of u two as ever being in a relationship, or have feelings for you.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (27 February 2012):
 Honestly, I would just ask him straight out. Why did you pull away after we had sex? And where do you see this go?
How long did you date him?
I have no magic 8-ball so asking him would be the best bet for the "right" answer.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2012): Well you aren't a long term or committed anything so why are you believing he should act like a man who is?
Having sex with him does not automatically lock you into a committed, loving relationship nor reliable friendship.
I say don't have sex with any man you hope for a long term anything from.
And don't chase after this guy. If he was truly interested, he'd be pursuing you.
You got played!
Be Wiser in the Future.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2012): I think after have a few sexual encounters with you, he got what he wanted, and now not really interested in you any more. His probably replying, just to keep the peace, and so if at another time he wants a booty call he can count on you. Im not saying this to sound mean , I think HIS a jerk for the way his acting now. Your better off letting this one go.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2012): Sounds like he lost interest. Men are guilty of having double standards...they lose respect for women who are easy even though they are just as easy.
Never have sex or oral sex with a guy you are just dating. He needs to make it exclusive before you give that to him!
Men don't even consider themselves dating a woman until after 6 dates where woman consider themselves dating after a single date. This is where women get hurt a lot and confused and then they start to chase the guy, who has already fled the scene, looking for answers or hope because they put out already.
Hit the NEXT button and don't be so sexually generous with the next guy. He'll respect you for it and most importantly, you will respect yourself and not chase down these men looking for affirmation and reassurance because you gave too much too soon.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (27 February 2012):
 It's a "sign" that he's likely to keep you JUST INTERESTED ENOUGH for ".....but I did some sexual things with him..."
Anything beyond that (like a real date) is an extra bonus...
Good luck...
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