A
male
age
30-35,
*andomando
writes:I have been talking to this girl for a couple months. She is really nice and it seems like she likes me. The way she talks to me in person and when we text seems like she does. Its just really flirty.The thing is I did not start the flirting. She did!! and it was obvious she did. She started to text me first and just would text me a bunch of smiley faces. At the time of our texting a couple days ago I knew it was flirting. So she facebook friended me after all the texting happened. Her profile picture is her kissing her boyfriend!! I was confused. I actually showed the texts to a couple girl friends and guy friends in my dorm and they agreed with me that it was 100% flirting. The things she even responded to some of my texts were really flirty and sexual... I asked her to hangout before I knew she had a boyfriend and she said "Yes! I would actually enjoy that"When i was in a relationship, if I saw my gfs phone and what she was texing, and if she responded to some of my texts like this girl did i think from the guys perspective id dump her and kick my ass. She easily went past the relationship boundary. The thing is im not sure if she is like 100% dating this guy. only because he lives 7 hours away.Soo before i waste my time trying to pursue something that may never be. I am confused. I feel like if we hangout and i ask her about her relationship, and i thought she was flirting with me when she wasnt, ill make things really awkward by bringing it up. I also feel like we are not close enough were i should even be thinking of that or asking.I dont want to scare her away. So if this was you would you just go with whats happening and see how things turn out? If we connect ask about her relationship? Or would you ask right away, even tho you arent really that close to her... Or not get involved. Idk im really confused, im getting the signs that she likes me but then again maybe she just likes the excitement of talking to another guy who likes her or is lonely... idk !!!!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (29 February 2012):
 I don't think it is wrong to flirt back as long as you are single. However I know others would think this would be wrong of you, seeing as she isn't single. It's like participating in cheating. And I think leading someone on by heavy flirting when you are taken is a form of deceiving/cheating on your partner. So I wouldn't respect her much, and as such wouldn't really be interested in being friends with someone like that. Someone who just uses people to boost their own ego isn't someone I'd like as a friend.
A
female
reader, Dear Mandy  +, writes (29 February 2012):
 Flirting with eachother as just the same as cheating, yes its hitting on her. I would just stay friends, no flirtting.
Mandy x
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A
male
reader, landomando +, writes (29 February 2012):
landomando is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI asked this girl to hangout before i knew she had a BF .I asked her because she was going to a funeral and my grandparents died like months ago so i know how hard it is and i wanted to be there for her if she needed anything and she said yes she wanted to. Then I asked her if she wanted to pregame in my dorm the week she got back (this friday) and she said yes she would like that. i did this before i knew she had a BF. not gona lie My intention was to get to know her, and i thought something was going to happen.First Im not going to cross the BF/GF line, I think ill still hangout with her but now ill be the sensitive friend guy and shell probably think im gay.lol (and wed hangout in a group). Im not going to try to hit on her or steal her.. I think shes just flirty. Is it wrong to flirt back if shes just a flirt and nothing happens?? Not trying to hit on her just flirt... or would flirting be hitting on, even if nothing was going to happen. Just kind of leave it how it was.
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A
female
reader, Paul_2012 +, writes (28 February 2012):
 hey there,
first of all, dont pursue her. how would you like it? some guy trying to steal your girl?
regardless of how far away he is they are still an item
she probs just likes the attention and has no intentions of meeting you -
i mean, before i got with my gf she used to tell me when she was single she would agree to meet guys all the time and not do so - just because she cant say no.
why are you even asking her to hang out?????
she probs like the attention from another guy seeing as her bf is so far away but seriously,
leave her along
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A
male
reader, alphamalesyndrome +, writes (28 February 2012):
Never try to get with a girl who has a boyfriend, even when she is sending signals that she is into you. Too much drama. Keep very casual contact, NOT talking everyday, more like twice a month. Keep it light and fun. And wait it out. And stop focusing on that one girl.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2012): I'm a lot like that girl. I'm in a long term relationship that admittedly I probably shouldn't be in, I have a crush on a guy and I believe he likes me. It would seem he wont get close because I have a boyfriend, but oh how I wish he would.See sometimes we need to find someone better to figure out we CAN have better. You never know maybe she's fishing you out for something thats real instead of what shes in now.The only thing I'd say is if you do hang out with her on something that is date-like do not cross lines while shes still with her boyfriend. Do not hold her hand, hug, kiss, ect.And I suggest that before you even go out on this hang out you ask her about her boyfriend something like "Hey is your boyfriend going to be upset you're planning on hanging out with another guy alone." If she says anything like, "He doesn't need to know" than she's probably a hoochie.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (27 February 2012):
 I'd stay far away from her. She will play with you and drop you like a hot potato when she finds someone else to toy with..
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A
female
reader, Dear Mandy +, writes (27 February 2012):
HI
I would not even go there....she is a player, its NOT ok when men are players, and its NOT ok when women are. Your worthe more than that, and deserve to be with a girl who is not a two timing flirt. She obviously rates herself. Even your friends are telling you she is 100% flirting, yet she is with another guy, or maybe even 2 or more on the go. RUN RUN RUN.
Mandy x
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (27 February 2012):
You know what? In Norwegian we call these girls "luremus". I believe the translation is "cock tease". They enjoy the attention from men, they flirt, they cross the boundaries... not because they actually want you. And not because they are single either. But because they are.. well... cock teases. They love the attention.
I had a friend who was like that. We're not as close any longer, but back in the days we were close friends. She cheated, slept around, she flirted and was sexual with guys she wasn't the least interested in. All to get attention. I had a boyfriend once who knew a girl like this as well, although a more moderate version. She had a boyfriend yet was flirting with every guy she met, giving them massages, or cuddling with them, sending late night "cutesy" texts etc. It's so annoying.
But yes, these are some girls who do this!! Do not fall for it. All she wants is someone to be her slave to worship her so she can feel important. Ask her if she has been flirting with you. If she says no.. and everyone else you know including yourself think she actually has been flirting... then you know that she is a cock tease.
Oh, and don't enter a relationship with her. She probably texts tons of other guys the exact same thing. She's kissing some guy in her pictures... well, she might be kissing you one day as well while openly flirting with the next guy in line. And it wont be any fun on your part.
PS. That girl who knew my ex-boyfriend.. She used to text him a lot at night claiming she couldn't sleep. But she lived with her boyfriend.. and it makes me wonder why on earth she didn't just talk to her boyfriend instead rather than wake up me and my boyfriend to "comfort" her. This girl of yours sounds like she is doing the exact same thing. If she is lonely she can talk to her boyfriend. Not you. Or dump her boyfriend if he isn't enough for her.
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