A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:my love of my life and i recently got back together ater 3 months of being apart as we realised we are still deeply inlove and want to be together,he was married and got divorced years before i knew him.now after having zero contact with the ex for years her choice she contacts him when she hears of me and his new child and allows him contact with his daughter and one thing led to another and 2 years ago the daughter came to live with him,which took some getting use to but with hard work,determenation and the love i had for my man everything was good with us as a family despite suffering the most harrowing abuse from the ex wife to me and children.then 12 month ago she appeared and things deteriated between me and my love and he ended us in june.today i learned from him the ex wanted them to go on holiday from what i know and how much verbal abuse,physical abuse he and his family were subjected to and all the years i have been verbaly abused by this disgusting ex wife,is there something i should know,if he was seeing someone when we was not together that fine it hurts but its not something i would be angry about,its the thought of it being the ex wife that makes me feel sick she has put us through sheer hell between us for 11 years destroyed how many lives,how can i trust him to love,support me even have a loving sexual future if after everything she has done to us all he found it easy to have sex with his abusive ex wife,the hate he felt for her was it all a lie,right now ive hit rockbottom as he would not answer me why i dont know since he said his future is with me
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2010): You have to come to a decision on your own. But what you have to realize is that since he has child with her, she will be in your life. If he loves you, he will stand by you and tell her back off.
He had sex with her, were you together and did she initiate it? My gut feelings are that she initiated it to hurt you. Having sex with him, was the ultimate power of you.
Abuse is about power and control. Now the choice lies with both of you. Does he love you enough to stand by you and tell her to f**k off or will he continue to let her manipulate the situation. Its up to you.
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